书城外语人生不设限(中英双语版)
7302400000083

第83章 Trust Others, More or Less(5)

I was still living in Australia in 2002 when my cousin Nathan Poljak accompanied me to the United States to speak at a church camp. We arrived the night before the engagement and were seriously jet-lagged by the long flight. We overslept.

I was scheduled to rise early to teach a Bible class, but no one had the heart to wake me. I rose from my coma just about fifteen minutes before the class was to start. We were staying nearby, so I thought we could still make it. We rushed to the camp, but when we arrived, I realized I had to use the restroom. Now, believe it or not, that’s something I can usually do on my own. I will never give away my secret techniques, but replacing zippers with Velcro proved to be a big help. Nathan offered to assist me because we were in such a hurry. He carried me into a public restroom stall and set me up to do my business.

Once I‘d finished, Nathan came in to help me close up shop, and as we were completing the process, he dropped my shorts into the toilet bowl! We froze in horror with our mouths gaping as my dignity disappeared in a slow-motion whirlpool. There I stood, pant-less and overdue for my Bible school lecture. I stared in horror at my cousin. He mirrored my shock. And then we both set to laughing like two loons of the loo. We couldn’t even fish my pants out because we were yucking it up so wildly, and our ineptitude made us even sillier with glee. Nathan has the most infectious laugh, and when he starts in, I can‘t help myself. I’m sure people standing outside the restroom wondered what was so hilarious in stall number three.

My cousins and brother and sister helped me learn to laugh when I find myself in ridiculous situations, and this was certainly one of them. They‘ve also taught me to lean on those willing to help and to ask for assistance when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I encourage you to do the same.

THE HAND-OFF

My caregivers have been terrific over the years, and I‘m fortunate to have them stay in my life as friends after they’ve moved on to new work. Nearly all actually start out as friends or people I‘ve met while speaking, then come to work with me. There is always a break-in period, of sorts, and often it’s quite amusing.

People who‘ve been with me awhile often say they quickly forget about my missing parts and my disability becomes irrelevant. That’s great, all well and good, except when the person happens to be my caregiver. I can‘t tell you how many times I’ve asked a rookie caregiver to give me a drink of water and he‘ll try to hand me a glass. There is always this moment of pause with his hand extended, holding the glass in the air and waiting for me to take it. Then there follows a sudden rush of blood from the face of the caregiver as he realizes, Oh my God! I just tried to hand a glass of water to a guy with no arms! What was I thinking?

“It’s okay,” I tell them. “I‘m used to it.”

Chances are you don’t need a trained person to be there for you twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. But we all need care-givers of some sort, someone to share ideas with, someone who will always give us honest advice, or someone who serves as an encourager, mentor, or role model.

It takes humility and courage to admit that you don‘t know everything or that you could use a hand. I mentioned earlier that when you have a sense of purpose and have committed to pursuing your dreams, you will always have a few detractors. Fortunately others will also appear—sometimes where you least expect it—to give you a boost, or to offer guidance. You should be ready for them because bonding with them can change your life.

There are three types of guides whose relationships have impacted my life: Mentors, Role Models, and Fellow Travelers.

Mentors are people who’ve been where you want to go, but they are also supporters and encouragers who share your dreams and truly want you to succeed. Your parents are natural mentors, but if you are lucky you will find others willing to step up in that role throughout your life. One of my earliest was my mother‘s brother, my uncle Sam Radojevic, who still lives in Australia with his great wife and wonderful children. He has the heart of an entrepreneur, the ingenuity of an inventor, and the vision of an explorer. Uncle Sam is always open to new experiences, and when I was young he encouraged me to take wing. He told me that the only true obstacles in life are those we make for ourselves. His guidance and support gave me the courage to expand my vision.

I’ve known many people who carry the burden of regret throughout their lives, but Uncle Sam has never been one to look back. Even when he makes mistakes, he always pushes forward to the next opportunity with the irrepressible spirit of a child in love with life.

He loves to design and build motorcycles and bicycles, but he doesn‘t just do it for himself. He helped the government of Victoria start a program in which prisoners repair and restore old bicycles for disadvantaged children and adults who couldn’t otherwise afford a bicycle. Thousands of bikes have gone out to the needy because of that program.

Uncle Sam encourages me to likewise keep looking ahead, and he has always believed in me even when I didn‘t believe in myself. I was thirteen when he told me, “Nicholas, you will shake the hands of presidents, kings, and queens someday.” He believed even then that God had a big plan for me. What a great person to have as a mentor!

I encourage you to reach out for your own mentors. But understand that true mentors aren’t just cheerleaders—they will tell you when they think you are wandering off course. You have to be willing to listen to their criticisms as well as their praise, knowing that they have your best interests at heart.

I also looked up to my cousin Duncan Jurisic. When I was a child, I‘d often be afraid to inconvenience someone to take me to the loo, so he helped me come up with a line to remember. He said, “When you need to go, just let someone know.” Not only did he and my other Vujicic cousins continue to love and support me, but Duncan and his mother, Danilka, helped me overcome my fears in the early days of my speaking career. Their family, who ran the Australian Hospitality Group in Melbourne, offered me their wise and valuable guidance.