书城公版LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER
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第101章

But when he came back after dark,he found the house broken into,so he went upstairs to see what she'd done,and he found her in bed without a rag on her.He offered her money,but she said she was his wife and he must take her back.I don't know what sort of a scene they had.His mother told me about it,she's terribly upset.Well,he told her he'd die rather than ever live with her again,so he took his things and went straight to his mother's on Tevershall hill.He stopped the night and went to the wood next day through the park,never going near the cottage.It seems he never saw his wife that day.But the day after she was at her brother Pan's at Beggarlee,swearing and carrying on,saying she was his legal wife,and that he'd beers having women at the cottage,because she'd found a scent-bottle in his drawer,and gold-tipped cigarette-ends on the ash-heap,and I don't know what all.Then it seems the postman Fred Kirk says he heard somebody talking in Mr Mellors'bedroom early one morning,and a motor-car had been in the lane.

Mr Mellors stayed on with his mother,and went to the wood through the park,and it seems she stayed on at the cottage.Well,there was no end of talk.So at last Mr Mellors and Tom Phillips went to the cottage and fetched away most of the furniture and bedding,and unscrewed the handle of the pump,so she was forced to go.But instead of going back to Stacks Gate she went and lodged with that Mrs Swain at Beggarlee,because her brother Dan's wife wouldn't have her.And she kept going to old Mrs Mellors'

house,to catch him,and she began swearing he'd got in bed with her in the cottage and she went to a lawyer to make him pay her an allowance.

She's grown heavy,and more common than ever,and as strong as a bull.

And she goes about saying the most awful things about him,how he has women at the cottage,and how he behaved to her when they were married,the low,beastly things he did to her,and I don't know what all.I'm sure it's awful,the mischief a woman can do,once she starts talking.And no matter how low she may be,there'll be some as will believe her,and some of the dirt will stick.I'm sure the way she makes out that Mr Mellors was one of those low,beastly men with women,is simply shocking.And people are only too ready to believe things against anybody,especially things like that.She declared she'll never leave him alone while he lives.Though what I say is,if he was so beastly to her,why is she so anxious to go back to him?But of course she's coming near her change of life,for she's years older than he is.And these common,violent women always go partly insane whets the change of life comes upon them--This was a nasty blow to Connie.Here she was,sure as life,coming in for her share of the lowness and dirt.She felt angry with him for not having got clear of a Bertha Coutts:nay,for ever having married her.

Perhaps he had a certain hankering after lowness.Connie remembered the last night she had spent with him,and shivered.He had known all that sensuality,even with a Bertha Coutts!It was really rather disgusting.

It would be well to be rid of him,clear of him altogether.He was perhaps really common,really low.

She had a revulsion against the whole affair,and almost envied the Guthrie girls their gawky inexperience and crude maidenliness.And she now dreaded the thought that anybody would know about herself and the keeper.

How unspeakably humiliating!She was weary,afraid,and felt a craving for utter respectability,even for the vulgar and deadening respectability of the Guthrie girls.If Clifford knew about her affair,how unspeakably humiliating!She was afraid,terrified of society and its unclean bite.

She almost wished she could get rid of the child again,and be quite clear.

In short,she fell into a state of funk.

As for the scent-bottle,that was her own folly.She had not been able to refrain from perfuming his one or two handkerchiefs and his shirts in the drawer,just out of childishness,and she had left a little bottle of Coty's Wood-violet perfume,half empty,among his things.She wanted him to remember her in the perfume.As for the cigarette-ends,they were Hilda's.

She could not help confiding a little in Duncan Forbes.She didn't say she had been the keeper's lover,she only said she liked him,and told Forbes the history of the man.

'Oh,'said Forbes,'you'll see,they'll never rest till they've pulled the man down and done him its.If he has refused to creep up into the middle classes,when he had a chance;and if he's a man who stands up for his own sex,then they'll do him in.It's the one thing they won't let you be,straight and open in your sex.You can be as dirty as you like.In fact the more dirt you do on sex the better they like it.But if you believe in your own sex,and won't have it done dirt to:they'll down you.It's the one insane taboo left:sex as a natural and vital thing.They won't have it,and they'll kill you before they'll let you have it.You'll see,they'll hound that man down.And what's he done,after all?If he's made love to his wife all ends on,hasn't he a right to?She ought to be proud of it.But you see,even a low bitch like that turns on him,and uses the hyena instinct of the mob against sex,to pull him down.You have a snivel and feel sinful or awful about your sex,before you're allowed to have any.Oh,they'll hound the poor devil down.'

Connie had a revulsion in the opposite direction now.What had he done,after all?what had he done to herself,Connie,but give her an exquisite pleasure and a sense of freedom and life?He had released her warm,natural sexual flow.And for that they would hound him down.