Toby was not a casuist - that he knew of, at least - and I don't mean to say that when he began to take to the Bells, and to knit up his first rough acquaintance with them into something of a closer and more delicate woof, he passed through these considerations one by one, or held any formal review or great field-day in his thoughts.But what I mean to say, and do say is, that as the functions of Toby's body, his digestive organs for example, did of their own cunning, and by a great many operations of which he was altogether ignorant, and the knowledge of which would have astonished him very much, arrive at a certain end; so his mental faculties, without his privity or concurrence, set all these wheels and springs in motion, with a thousand others, when they worked to bring about his liking for the Bells.
And though I had said his love, I would not have recalled the word, though it would scarcely have expressed his complicated feeling.
For, being but a simple man, he invested them with a strange and solemn character.They were so mysterious, often heard and never seen; so high up, so far off, so full of such a deep strong melody, that he regarded them with a species of awe; and sometimes when he looked up at the dark arched windows in the tower, he half expected to be beckoned to by something which was not a Bell, and yet was what he had heard so often sounding in the Chimes.For all this, Toby scouted with indignation a certain flying rumour that the Chimes were haunted, as implying the possibility of their being connected with any Evil thing.In short, they were very often in his ears, and very often in his thoughts, but always in his good opinion; and he very often got such a crick in his neck by staring with his mouth wide open, at the steeple where they hung, that he was fain to take an extra trot or two, afterwards, to cure it.
The very thing he was in the act of doing one cold day, when the last drowsy sound of Twelve o'clock, just struck, was humming like a melodious monster of a Bee, and not by any means a busy bee, all through the steeple!
'Dinner-time, eh!' said Toby, trotting up and down before the church.'Ah!'
Toby's nose was very red, and his eyelids were very red, and he winked very much, and his shoulders were very near his ears, and his legs were very stiff, and altogether he was evidently a long way upon the frosty side of cool.
'Dinner-time, eh!' repeated Toby, using his right-hand muffler like an infantine boxing-glove, and punishing his chest for being cold.
'Ah-h-h-h!'
He took a silent trot, after that, for a minute or two.
'There's nothing,' said Toby, breaking forth afresh - but here he stopped short in his trot, and with a face of great interest and some alarm, felt his nose carefully all the way up.It was but a little way (not being much of a nose) and he had soon finished.
'I thought it was gone,' said Toby, trotting off again.'It's all right, however.I am sure I couldn't blame it if it was to go.It has a precious hard service of it in the bitter weather, and precious little to look forward to; for I don't take snuff myself.
It's a good deal tried, poor creetur, at the best of times; for when it DOES get hold of a pleasant whiff or so (which an't too often) it's generally from somebody else's dinner, a-coming home from the baker's.'
The reflection reminded him of that other reflection, which he had left unfinished.
'There's nothing,' said Toby, 'more regular in its coming round than dinner-time, and nothing less regular in its coming round than dinner.That's the great difference between 'em.It's took me a long time to find it out.I wonder whether it would be worth any gentleman's while, now, to buy that obserwation for the Papers; or the Parliament!'
Toby was only joking, for he gravely shook his head in self-depreciation.
'Why! Lord!' said Toby.'The Papers is full of obserwations as it is; and so's the Parliament.Here's last week's paper, now;'
taking a very dirty one from his pocket, and holding it from him at arm's length; 'full of obserwations! Full of obserwations! I like to know the news as well as any man,' said Toby, slowly; folding it a little smaller, and putting it in his pocket again: 'but it almost goes against the grain with me to read a paper now.It frightens me almost.I don't know what we poor people are coming to.Lord send we may be coming to something better in the New Year nigh upon us!'
'Why, father, father!' said a pleasant voice, hard by.
But Toby, not hearing it, continued to trot backwards and forwards:
musing as he went, and talking to himself.
'It seems as if we can't go right, or do right, or be righted,'
said Toby.'I hadn't much schooling, myself, when I was young; and I can't make out whether we have any business on the face of the earth, or not.Sometimes I think we must have - a little; and sometimes I think we must be intruding.I get so puzzled sometimes that I am not even able to make up my mind whether there is any good at all in us, or whether we are born bad.We seem to be dreadful things; we seem to give a deal of trouble; we are always being complained of and guarded against.One way or other, we fill the papers.Talk of a New Year!' said Toby, mournfully.'I can bear up as well as another man at most times; better than a good many, for I am as strong as a lion, and all men an't; but supposing it should really be that we have no right to a New Year - supposing we really ARE intruding - '
'Why, father, father!' said the pleasant voice again.
Toby heard it this time; started; stopped; and shortening his sight, which had been directed a long way off as seeking the enlightenment in the very heart of the approaching year, found himself face to face with his own child, and looking close into her eyes.