The DUKE's palace. Enter VALENTINE and SPEED SPEED Sir, your glove. VALENTINE Not mine; my gloves are on. SPEED Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one. VALENTINE Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine:
Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Silvia, Silvia! SPEED Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia! VALENTINE How now, sirrah? SPEED She is not within hearing, sir. VALENTINE Why, sir, who bade you call her? SPEED Your worship, sir; or else I mistook. VALENTINE Well, you'll still be too forward. SPEED And yet I was last chidden for being too slow. VALENTINE Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia? SPEED She that your worship loves? VALENTINE Why, how know you that I am in love? SPEED Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms, like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master. VALENTINE Are all these things perceived in me? SPEED They are all perceived without ye. VALENTINE Without me? they cannot. SPEED Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would: but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady. VALENTINE But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia? SPEED She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper? VALENTINE Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean. SPEED Why, sir, I know her not. VALENTINE Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet knowest her not? SPEED Is she not hard-favoured, sir? VALENTINE Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured. SPEED Sir, I know that well enough. VALENTINE What dost thou know? SPEED That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured. VALENTINE I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite. SPEED That's because the one is painted and the other out of all count. VALENTINE How painted? and how out of count? SPEED Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty. VALENTINE How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty. SPEED You never saw her since she was deformed. VALENTINE How long hath she been deformed? SPEED Ever since you loved her. VALENTINE I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I see her beautiful. SPEED If you love her, you cannot see her. VALENTINE Why? SPEED Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes; or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered! VALENTINE What should I see then? SPEED Your own present folly and her passing deformity: for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose. VALENTINE Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes. SPEED True, sir; I was in love with my bed: