'May it please your worship,' I answered him loudly, 'Iam John Ridd, of Oare parish, in the shire of Somerset, brought to this London, some two months back by a special messenger, whose name is Jeremy Stickles; and then bound over to be at hand and ready, when called upon to give evidence, in a matter unknown to me, but touching the peace of our lord the King, and the well-being of his subjects. Three times I have met our lord the King, but he hath said nothing about his peace, and only held it towards me, and every day, save Sunday, I have walked up and down the great hall of Westminster, all the business part of the day, expecting to be called upon, yet no one hath called upon me. And now I desire to ask your worship, whether I may go home again?'
'Well, done, John,' replied his lordship, while I was panting with all this speech; 'I will go bail for thee, John, thou hast never made such a long speech before;and thou art a spunky Briton, or thou couldst not have made it now. I remember the matter well, and I myself will attend to it, although it arose before my time'
--he was but newly Chief Justice--'but I cannot take it now, John. There is no fear of losing thee, John, any more than the Tower of London. I grieve for His Majesty's exchequer, after keeping thee two months or more.'
'Nay, my lord, I crave your pardon. My mother hath been keeping me. Not a groat have I received.'
'Spank, is it so?' his lordship cried, in a voice that shook the cobwebs, and the frown on his brow shook the hearts of men, and mine as much as the rest of them,--'Spank, is His Majesty come to this, that he starves his own approvers?'
'My lord, my lord,' whispered Mr. Spank, the chief-officer of evidence, 'the thing hath been overlooked, my lord, among such grave matters of treason.'
'I will overlook thy head, foul Spank, on a spike from Temple Bar, if ever I hear of the like again. Vile varlet, what art thou paid for? Thou hast swindled the money thyself, foul Spank; I know thee, though thou art new to me. Bitter is the day for thee that ever I came across thee. Answer me not--one word more and I will have thee on a hurdle.' And he swung himself to and fro on his bench, with both hands on his knees; and every man waited to let it pass, knowing better than to speak to him.
'John Ridd,' said the Lord Chief Justice, at last recovering a sort of dignity, yet daring Spank from the corners of his eyes to do so much as look at him, 'thou hast been shamefully used, John Ridd. Answer me not boy; not a word; but go to Master Spank, and let me know how he behaves to thee;' here he made a glance at Spank, which was worth at least ten pounds to me; 'be thou here again to-morrow, and before any other case is taken, I will see justice done to thee. Now be off boy; thy name is Ridd, and we are well rid of thee.'
I was only too glad to go, after all this tempest; as you may well suppose. For if ever I saw a man's eyes become two holes for the devil to glare from, I saw it that day; and the eyes were those of the Lord Chief Justice Jeffreys.
Mr. Spank was in the lobby before me, and before I had recovered myself--for I was vexed with my own terror--he came up sidling and fawning to me, with a heavy bag of yellow leather.
'Good Master Ridd, take it all, take it all, and say a good word for me to his lordship. He hath taken a strange fancy to thee; and thou must make the most of it. We never saw man meet him eye to eye so, and yet not contradict him, and that is just what he loveth.
Abide in London, Master Ridd, and he will make thy fortune. His joke upon thy name proves that. And Ipray you remember, Master Ridd, that the Spanks are sixteen in family.'
But I would not take the bag from him, regarding it as a sort of bribe to pay me such a lump of money, without so much as asking how great had been my expenses.
Therefore I only told him that if he would kindly keep the cash for me until the morrow, I would spend the rest of the day in counting (which always is sore work with me) how much it had stood me in board and lodging, since Master Stickles had rendered me up; for until that time he had borne my expenses. In the morning Iwould give Mr. Spank a memorandum, duly signed, and attested by my landlord, including the breakfast of that day, and in exchange for this I would take the exact amount from the yellow bag, and be very thankful for it.
'If that is thy way of using opportunity,' said Spank, looking at me with some contempt, 'thou wilt never thrive in these times, my lad. Even the Lord Chief Justice can be little help to thee; unless thou knowest better than that how to help thyself '
It mattered not to me. The word 'approver' stuck in my gorge, as used by the Lord Chief Justice; for we looked upon an approver as a very low thing indeed. I would rather pay for every breakfast, and even every dinner, eaten by me since here I came, than take money as an approver. And indeed I was much disappointed at being taken in that light, having understood that I was sent for as a trusty subject, and humble friend of His Majesty.
In the morning I met Mr. Spank waiting for me at the entrance, and very desirous to see me. I showed him my bill, made out in fair copy, and he laughed at it, and said, 'Take it twice over, Master Ridd; once for thine own sake, and once for His Majesty's; as all his loyal tradesmen do, when they can get any. His Majesty knows and is proud of it, for it shows their love of his countenance; and he says, "bis dat qui cito dat," then how can I grumble at giving twice, when I give so slowly?'
'Nay, I will take it but once,' I said; 'if His Majesty loves to be robbed, he need not lack of his desire, while the Spanks are sixteen in family.'
The clerk smiled cheerfully at this, being proud of his children's ability; and then having paid my account, he whispered,--'He is all alone this morning, John, and in rare good humour. He hath been promised the handling of poor Master Algernon Sidney, and he says he will soon make republic of him; for his state shall shortly be headless. He is chuckling over his joke, like a pig with a nut; and that always makes him pleasant. John Ridd, my lord!' With that he swung up the curtain bravely, and according to special orders, I stood, face to face, and alone with Judge Jeffreys.