You will find,in most good company,some people who only keep their place there by a contemptible title enough;these are what we call VERYGOOD-NATURED FELLOWS,and the French,'bons diables'.The truth is,they are people without any parts or fancy,and who,having no will of their own,readily assent to,concur in,and applaud,whatever is said or done in the company;and adopt,with the same alacrity,the most virtuous or the most criminal,the wisest or the silliest scheme,that happens to be entertained by the majority of the company.This foolish,and often criminal complaisance flows from a foolish cause,--the want of any other merit.I hope that you will hold your place in company by a nobler tenure,and that you will hold it (you can bear a quibble,I believe,yet)'in capite'.Have a will and an opinion of your own,and adhere to them steadily;but then do it with good humor,good-breeding,and (if you have it)with urbanity;for you have not yet heard enough either to preach or censure.
All other kinds of complaisance are not only blameless,but necessary in good company.Not to seem to perceive the little weaknesses,and the idle but innocent affectations of the company,but even to flatter them,in a certain manner,is not only very allowable,but,in truth,a sort of polite duty.They will be pleased with you,if you do;and will certainly not be reformed by you if you do not.
For instance:you will find,in every group of company,two principal figures,viz.,the fine lady and the fine gentleman who absolutely give the law of wit,language,fashion,and taste,to the rest of that society.There is always a strict,and often for the time being,a tender alliance between these two figures.The lady looks upon her empire as founded upon the divine right of beauty (and full as good a divine right it is as any king,emperor,or pope,can pretend to);she requires,and commonly meets with,unlimited passive obedience.And why should she not meet with it?Her demands go no higher than to have her unquestioned preeminence in beauty,wit,and fashion,firmly established.
Few sovereigns (by the way)are so reasonable.The fine gentleman's claims of right are,'mutatis mutandis',the same;and though,indeed,he is not always a wit 'de jure',yet,as he is the wit 'de facto'of that company,he is entitled to a share of your allegiance,and everybody expects at least as much as they are entitled to,if not something more.
Prudence bids you make your court to these joint sovereigns;and no duty,that I know of,forbids it.Rebellion here is exceedingly dangerous,and inevitably punished by banishment,and immediate forfeiture of all your wit,manners,taste,and fashion;as,on the other hand,a cheerful submission,not without some flattery,is sure to procure you a strong recommendation and most effectual pass,throughout all their,and probably the neighboring,dominions.With a moderate share of sagacity,you will,before you have been half an hour in their company,easily discover those two principal figures:both by the deference which you will observe the whole company pay them,and by that easy,careless,and serene air,which their consciousness of power gives them.As in this case,so in all others,aim always at the highest;get always into the highest company,and address yourself particularly to the highest in it.
The search after the unattainable philosopher's stone has occasioned a thousand useful discoveries,which otherwise would never have been made.
What the French justly call 'les manieres nobles'are only to be acquired in the very best companies.They are the distinguishing characteristics of men of fashion:people of low education never wear them so close,but that some part or other of the original vulgarism appears.'Les manieres nobles'equally forbid insolent contempt,or low envy and jealousy.Low people,in good circumstances,fine clothes,and equipages,will insolently show contempt for all those who cannot afford as fine clothes,as good an equipage,and who have not (as their term is)as much money in their pockets:on the other hand,they are gnawed with envy,and cannot help discovering it,of those who surpass them in any of these articles;which are far from being sure criterions of merit.They are likewise jealous of being slighted;and,consequently,suspicious and captious;they are eager and hot about trifles because trifles were,at first,their affairs of consequence.'Les manieres nobles'imply exactly the reverse of all this.Study them early;you cannot make them too habitual and familiar to you.
Just as I had written what goes before,I received your letter of the 24th,N.S.,but I have not received that which you mention for Mr.
Harte.Yours is of the kind that I desire;for I want to see your private picture,drawn by yourself,at different sittings;for though,as it is drawn by yourself,I presume you will take the most advantageous likeness,yet I think that I have skill enough in that kind of painting to discover the true features,though ever so artfully colored,or thrown into skillful lights and shades.
By your account of the German play,which I do not know whether I should call tragedy or comedy,the only shining part of it (since I am in a way of quibbling)seems to have been the fox's tail.I presume,too,that the play has had the same fate with the squib,and has gone off no more.
I remember a squib much better applied,when it was made the device of the colors of a French regiment of grenadiers;it was represented bursting,with this motto under it:'Peream dum luceam'.
I like the description of your PIC-NIC;where I take it for granted,that your cards are only to break the formality of a circle,and your SYMPOSION intended more to promote conversation than drinking.Such an AMICABLE COLLISION,as Lord Shaftesbury very prettily calls it,rubs off and smooths those rough corners which mere nature has given to the smoothest of us.I hope some part,at least,of the conversation is in German.'A propos':tell me do you speak that language correctly,and do you write it with ease?I have no doubt of your mastering the other modern languages,which are much easier,and occur much oftener;for which reason,I desire that you will apply most diligently to German,while you are in Germany,that you may speak and write that language most correctly.
I expect to meet Mr.Eliot in London,in about three weeks,after which you will soon see him at Leipsig.Adieu.