GREENWICH,July 15,O.S.1751
MY DEAR FRIEND:As this is the last,or last letter but one,that Ithink I shall write before I have the pleasure of seeing you here,it may not be amiss to prepare you a little for our interview,and for the time we shall pass together.Before kings and princes meet,ministers on each side adjust the important points of precedence,arm chairs,right hand and left,etc.,so that they know previously what they are to expect,what they have to trust to;and it is right they should;for they commonly envy or hate,but most certainly distrust each other.We shall meet upon very different terms;we want no such preliminaries:you know my tenderness,I know your affection.My only object,therefore,is to make your short stay with me as useful as I can to you;and yours,Ihope,is to co-operate with me.Whether,by making it wholesome,I shall make it pleasant to you,I am not sure.Emetics and cathartics I shall not administer,because I am sure you do not want them;but for alteratives you must expect a great many;and I can tell you that I have a number of NOSTRUMS,which I shall communicate to nobody but yourself.
To speak without a metaphor,I shall endeavor to assist your youth with all the experience that I have purchased,at the price of seven and fifty years.In order to this,frequent reproofs,corrections,and admonitions will be necessary;but then,I promise you,that they shall be in a gentle,friendly,and secret manner;they shall not put you out of countenance in company,nor out of humor when we are alone.I do not expect that,at nineteen,you should have that knowledge of the world,those manners,that dexterity,which few people have at nine-and-twenty.
But I will endeavor to give them you;and I am sure you will endeavor to learn them,as far as your youth,my experience,and the time we shall pass together,will allow.You may have many inaccuracies (and to be sure you have,for who has not at your age?)which few people will tell you of,and some nobody can tell you of but myself.You may possibly have others,too,which eyes less interested,and less vigilant than mine,do not discover;all those you shall hear of from one whose tenderness for you will excite his curiosity and sharpen his penetration.
The smallest inattention or error in manners,the minutest inelegance of diction,the least awkwardness in your dress and carriage,will not escape my observation,nor pass without amicable correction.Two,the most intimate friends in the world,can freely tell each other their faults,and even their crimes,but cannot possibly tell each other of certain little weaknesses;awkwardnesses,and blindnesses of self-love;to authorize that unreserved freedom,the relation between us is absolutely necessary.For example,I had a very worthy friend,with whom I was intimate enough to tell him his faults;he had but few;I told him of them;he took it kindly of me,and corrected them.But then,he had some weaknesses that I could never tell him of directly,and which he was so little sensible of himself,that hints of them were lost upon him.