There is nothing that a young fellow,at his first appearance in the world,has more reason to dread,,and consequently should take more pains to avoid,than having any ridicule fixed upon him.It degrades him with the most reasonable part of mankind;but it ruins him with the rest;and I have known many a man undone by acquiring a ridiculous nickname:Iwould not,for all the riches in the world,that you should acquire one when you return to England.Vices and crimes excite hatred and reproach;failings,weaknesses,and awkwardnesses,excite ridicule;they are laid hold of by mimics,who,though very contemptible wretches themselves,often,by their buffoonery,fix ridicule upon their betters.The little defects in manners,elocution,address,and air (and even of figure,though very unjustly),are the objects of ridicule,and the causes of nicknames.You cannot imagine the grief it would give me,and the prejudice it would do you,if,by way of distinguishing you from others of your name,you should happen to be called Muttering Stanhope,Absent Stanhope,Ill-bred Stanhope,or Awkward,Left-legged Stanhope:therefore,take great care to put it out of the power of Ridicule itself to give you any of these ridiculous epithets;for,if you get one,it will stick to you,like the envenomed shirt.The very first day that I see you,I shall be able to tell you,and certainly shall tell you,what degree of danger you are in;and I hope that my admonitions,as censor,may prevent the censures of the public.Admonitions are always useful;is this one or not?You are the best judge;it is your own picture which I send you,drawn,at my request,by a lady at Venice:pray let me know how far,in your conscience,you think it like;for there are some parts of it which I wish may,and others,which I should be sorry were.I send you,literally,the copy of that part of her letter,to her friend here,which relates to you.--[In compliance to your orders,I have examined young Stanhope carefully,and think I have penetrated into his character.This is his portrait,which I take to be a faithful one.His face is pleasing,his countenance sensible,and his look clever.His figure is at present rather too square;but if he shoots up,which he has matter and years for,he will then be of a good size.He has,undoubtedly,a great fund of acquired knowledge;I am assured that he is master of the learned languages.As for French,I know he speaks it perfectly,and,Iam told,German as well.The questions he asks are judicious;and denote a thirst after knowledge.I cannot say that he appears equally desirous of pleasing,for he seems to neglect attentions and the graces.He does not come into a room well,nor has he that easy,noble carriage,which would be proper for him.It is true,he is as yet young and inexperienced;one may therefore reasonably hope that his exercises,which he has not yet gone through,and good company,in which he is still a novice,will polish,and give all that is wanting to complete him.
What seems necessary for that purpose,would,be an attachment to some woman of fashion,and who knows the world.Some Madame de l'Ursay would be the proper person.In short,I can assure you,that he has everything which Lord Chesterfield can wish him,excepting that carriage,those graces,and the style used in the best company;which he will certainly acquire in time,and by frequenting the polite world.If he should not,it would be great pity,since he so well deserves to possess them.You know their importance.My Lord,his father,knows it too,he being master of them all.To conclude,if little Stanhope acquires the graces,I promise you he will make his way;if not,he will be stopped in a course,the goal of which he might attain with honor.]
Tell Mr.Harte that I have this moment received his letter of the 22d,N.S.,and that I approve extremely of the long stay you have made at Venice.I love long residences at capitals;running post through different places is a most unprofitable way of traveling,and admits of no application.Adieu.
You see,by this extract,of what consequence other people think these things.Therefore,I hope you will no longer look upon them as trifles.
It is the character of an able man to despise little things in great business:but then he knows what things are little,and what not.He does not suppose things are little,because they are commonly called so:
but by the consequences that may or may not attend them.If gaining people's affections,and interesting their hearts in your favor,be of consequence,as it undoubtedly is,he knows very well that a happy concurrence of all those,commonly called little things,manners,air,address,graces,etc.,is of the utmost consequence,and will never be at rest till he has acquired them.The world is taken by the outside of things,and we must take the world as it is;you nor I cannot set it right.I know,at this time,a man of great quality and station,who has not the parts of a porter;but raised himself to the station he is in,singly by having a graceful figure,polite manners,and an engaging address;which,by the way,he only acquired by habit;for he had not sense enough to get them by reflection.Parts and habit should conspire to complete you.You will have the habit of good company,and you have reflection in your power.