Mitya guessed that he had been asleep an hour or more, but he did not hear Nikolay Parfenovitch.He was suddenly struck by the fact that there was a pillow under his head, which hadn't been there when he had leant back, exhausted, on the chest.
"Who put that pillow under my head? Who was so kind?" he cried, with a sort of ecstatic gratitude, and tears in his voice, as though some great kindness had been shown him.
He never found out who this kind man was; perhaps one of the peasant witnesses, or Nikolay Parfenovitch's little secretary, had compassionately thought to put a pillow under his head; but his whole soul was quivering with tears.He went to the table and said that he would sign whatever they liked.
"I've had a good dream, gentlemen," he said in a strange voice, with a new light, as of joy, in his face.
Chapter 9
They Carry Mitya AwayWHEN the protocol had been signed, Nikolay Parfenovitch turned solemnly to the prisoner and read him the "Committal," setting forth, that in such a year, on such a day, in such a place, the investigating lawyer of such-and-such a district court, having examined so-and-so (to wit, Mitya) accused of this and of that (all the charges were carefully written out) and having considered that the accused, not pleading guilty to the charges made against him, had brought forward nothing in his defence, while the witnesses, so-and-so, and so-and-so, and the circumstances such-and-such testify against him, acting in accordance with such-and-such articles of the Statute Book, and so on, has ruled, that, in order to preclude so-and-so (Mitya) from all means of evading pursuit and judgment, he be detained in such-and-such a prison, which he hereby notifies to the accused and communicates a copy of this same "Committal" to the deputy prosecutor, and so on, and so on.
In brief, Mitya was informed that he was, from that moment, a prisoner, and that he would be driven at once to the town, and there shut up in a very unpleasant place.Mitya listened attentively, and only shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, gentlemen, I don't blame you.I'm ready....I understand that there's nothing else for you to do."Nikolay Parfenovitch informed him gently that he would be escorted at once by the rural police officer, Mavriky Mavrikyevitch, who happened to be on the spot....
"Stay," Mitya interrupted, suddenly, and impelled by uncontrollable feeling he pronounced, addressing all in the room:
"Gentlemen, we're all cruel, we're all monsters, we all make men weep, and mothers, and babes at the breast, but of all, let it be settled here, now, of all I am the lowest reptile! I've sworn to amend, and every day I've done the same filthy things.I understand now that such men as I need a blow, a blow of destiny to catch them as with a noose, and bind them by a force from without.Never, never should I have risen of myself! But the thunderbolt has fallen.Iaccept the torture of accusation, and my public shame; I want to suffer and by suffering I shall be purified.Perhaps I shall be purified, gentlemen? But listen, for the last time, I am not guilty of my father's blood.I accept my punishment, not because I killed him, but because I meant to kill him, and perhaps I really might have killed him.Still I mean to fight it out with you.I warn you of that.
I'll fight it out with you to the end, and then God will decide.
Good-bye, gentlemen, don't be vexed with me for having shouted at you during the examination.Oh, I was still such a fool then....In another minute I shall be a prisoner, but now, for the last time, as a free man, Dmitri Karamazov offers you his hand.Saying good-bye to you, I say it to all men."His voice quivered and he stretched out his hand, but Nikolay Parfenovitch, who happened to stand nearest to him, with a sudden, almost nervous movement, hid his hands behind his back.Mitya instantly noticed this, and started.He let his outstretched hand fall at once.
"The preliminary inquiry is not yet over," Nikolay Parfenovitch faltered, somewhat embarrassed."We will continue it in the town, and I, for my part, of course, am ready to wish you all success...