By all the devils in hell, if there are devils -- and there must be to tempt a man, or how could he be so great a fool, so blind a born idiot, as to do anything in this world that would put his freedom in jeopardy?
And what for? For folly and nonsense.For a few pounds he could earn with a month's honest work and be all the better man for it.
For a false woman's smile that he could buy, and ten like her, if he only kept straight and saving.For a bit of sudden pride or vanity or passion.A short bit of what looks like pleasure, against months and years of weariness, and cold and heat, and dull half-death, with maybe a dog's death at the end!
I could cry like a child when I think of it now.I have cried many's the time and often since I have been shut up here, and dashed my head against the stones till I pretty nigh knocked all sense and feeling out of it, not so much in repentance, though I don't say I feel sorry, but to think what a fool, fool, fool I'd been.Yes, fool, three times over -- a hundred times -- to put my liberty and life against such a miserable stake -- a stake the devil that deals the pack is so safe to win at the end.
I may as well go on.But I can't help breaking out sometimes when I hear the birds calling to one another as they fly over the yard, and know it's fresh air and sun and green grass outside that I never shall see again.Never see the river rippling under the big drooping trees, or the cattle coming down in the twilight to drink after the long hot day.Never, never more! And whose fault is it?
Who have I to blame? Perhaps father helped a bit; but I knew better, and no one is half as much to blame as myself.
Where were we? Oh, at the cave-mouth, coming out with our bridles in our hands to catch our horses.We soon did that, and then we rode away to the other cattle.They were a queer lot, in fine condition, but all sorts of ages and breeds, with every kind of brand and ear-mark.
Lots of the brands we didn't know, and had never heard of.
Some had no brands at all -- full-grown beasts, too;that was a thing we had very seldom seen.Some of the best cattle and some of the finest horses -- and there were some real plums among the horses -- had a strange brand, JJ.
`Who does the JJ brand belong to?' I said to father.
`They're the pick of the lot, whose ever they are.'
Father looked black for a bit, and then he growled out, `Don't you ask too many questions, lad.There's only four living men besides yourselves knows about this place; so take care and don't act foolishly, or you'll lose a plant that may save your life, as well as keep you in cash for many a year to come.That brand belongs to Starlight, and he was the only man left alive of the men that first found it and used it to put away stock in.He wanted help, and told me five years ago.
He took in a half-caste chap, too, against my will.He helped him with that last lot of cattle that you noticed.'
`But where did those horses come from?' Jim said.`I never hardly saw such a lot before.All got the JJ brand on, too, and nothing else;all about three year old.'
`They were brought here as foals,' says father, `following their mothers.
Some of them was foaled here; and, of course, as they've only the one brand on they never can be claimed or sworn to.They're from some of Mr.Maxwell's best thoroughbred mares, and their sire was Earl of Atheling, imported.
He was here for a year.'
`Well, they might look the real thing,' said Jim, his eyes brightening as he gazed at them.`I'd like to have that dark bay colt with the star.
My word, what a forehand he's got; and what quarters, too.If he can't gallop I'll never say I know a horse from a poley cow.'
`You shall have him, or as good, never fear, if you stick to your work,'
says father.`You mustn't cross Starlight, for he's a born devil when he's taken the wrong way, though he talks so soft.The half-caste is an out-and-out chap with cattle, and the horse doesn't stand on four legs that he can't ride -- and make follow him, for the matter of that.
But he's worth watching.I don't believe in him myself.
And now ye have the lot.'
`And a d----d fine lot they are,' I said, for I was vexed with Jim for taking so easy to the bait father held out to him about the horse.
`A very smart crowd to be on the roads inside of five years, and drag us in with 'em.'
`How do you make that out?' says father.`Are you going to turn dog, now you know the way in? Isn't it as easy to carry on for a few years more as it was twenty years ago?'