They occasionally visit me, but it is only to pass away a heavy hour in chattering nonsense.Once on a time, three of them came, in the hope of making me a convert to their Latin superstition."Signior Donatio," said they, (for so they called me,) "how is it that an unprejudiced person like yourself, a man really with some pretension to knowledge, can still cling to this absurd religion of yours? Surely, after having resided so many years in a civilised country like this of Spain, it is high time to abandon your half-pagan form of worship, and to enter the bosom of the church; now pray be advised, and you shall be none the worse for it." "Thank you, gentlemen," I replied, "for the interest you take in my welfare; I am always open to conviction; let us proceed to discuss the subject.What are the points of my religion which do not meet your approbation? You are of course well acquainted with all our dogmas and ceremonies." "We know nothing about your religion, Signior Donatio, save that it is a very absurd one, and therefore it is incumbent upon you, as an unprejudiced and well-informed man, to renounce it." "But, gentlemen, if you know nothing of my religion, why call it absurd? Surely it is not the part of unprejudiced people to disparage that of which they are ignorant." "But, Signior Donatio, it is not the Catholic Apostolic Roman religion, is it?" "It may be, gentlemen, for what you appear to know of it;for your information, however, I will tell you that it is not;it is the Greek Apostolic religion.I do not call it catholic, for it is absurd to call that catholic which is not universally acknowledged." "But, Signior Donatio, does not the matter speak for itself? What can a set of ignorant Greek barbarians know about religion? If they set aside the authority of Rome, whence should they derive any rational ideas of religion?
whence should they get the gospel?" "The Gospel, gentlemen?
Allow me to show you a book, here it is, what is your opinion of it?" "Signior Donatio, what does this mean? What characters of the devil are these, are they Moorish? Who is able to understand them?" "I suppose your worships, being Roman priests, know something of Latin; if you inspect the title-page to the bottom, you will find, in the language of your own church, the Gospel of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,' in the original Greek, of which your vulgate is merely a translation, and not a very correct one.With respect to the barbarism of Greece, it appears that you are not aware that Athens was a city, and a famed one, centuries before the first mud cabin of Rome was thatched, and the Gypsy vagabonds who first peopled it, had escaped from the hands of justice.""Signior Donatio, you are an ignorant heretic, and insolent withal, WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS!...." But I will not weary your ears, Kyrie, with all the absurdities which the poor Latin PAPAS poured into mine; the burden of their song being invariably, WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS! which was certainly applicable enough to what they themselves were saying.Seeing, however, that I was more than their match in religious controversy, they fell foul of my country."Spain is a better country than Greece," said one."You never tasted bread before you came to Spain," cried another."And little enough since,"thought I."You never before saw such a city as Seville," said the third.But then ensued the best part of the comedy: my visitors chanced to be natives of three different places; one was of Seville, another of Utrera, and the third of Miguel Turra, a miserable village in La Mancha.At the mention of Seville, the other two instantly began to sing the praises of their respective places of birth; this brought on comparisons, and a violent dispute was the consequence.Much abuse passed between them, whilst I stood by, shrugged my shoulders, and said TIPOTAS.* At last, as they were leaving the house, Isaid, "Who would have thought, gentlemen, that the polemics of the Greek and Latin churches were so closely connected with the comparative merits of Seville, Utrera, and Miguel Turra?"* Nothing at all.
MYSELF.- Is the spirit of proselytism very prevalent here? Of what description of people do their converts generally consist?