When such a fellow made a fuss, it was occasionally necessary to return his money if it was found impossible to bully him into silence.In one or two instances, where I had promised a cure upon prepayment of two or three hundred dollars, I was either sued or threatened with suit, and had to refund a part or the whole of the amount; but most people preferred to hold their tongues rather than expose to the world the extent of their own folly.
In one most disastrous case I suffered personally to a degree which I never can recall without a distinct sense of annoyance, both at my own want of care and at the disgusting consequences which it brought upon me.
Early one morning an old gentleman called, in a state of the utmost agitation, and explained that he desired to consult the spirits as to a heavy loss which he had experienced the night before.He had left, he said, a sum of money in his pantaloons pocket upon going to bed.In the morning he had changed his clothes and gone out, forgetting to remove the notes.Returning in an hour in great haste, he discovered that the garment still lay upon the chair where he had thrown it, but that the money was missing.I at once desired him to be seated, and proceeded to ask him certain questions, in a chatty way, about the habits of his household, the amount lost, and the like, expecting thus to get some clue which would enable me to make my spirits display the requisite share of sagacity in pointing out the thief.I learned readily that he was an old and wealthy man, a little close, too, I suspected, and that he lived in a large house with but two servants, and an only son about twenty-one years old.The servants were both women who had lived in the household many years, and were probably innocent.Unluckily, remembering my own youthful career, Ipresently reached the conclusion that the young man had been the delinquent.When I ventured to inquire a little as to his habits, the old gentleman cut me very short, remarking that he came to ask questions, and not to be questioned, and that he desired at once to consult the spirits.Upon this I sat down at a table, and, after a brief silence, demanded in a solemn voice if there were any spirits present.By industriously cracking my big toe-joint I was enabled to represent at once the presence of a numerous assembly of these worthies.Then I inquired if any one of them had been present when the robbery was effected.A prompt double knock replied in the affirmative.I may say here, by the way, that the unanimity of the spirits as to their use of two knocks for ``yes'' and one for ``no'' is a very remarkable point, and shows, if it shows anything, how perfect and universal must be the social intercourse of the respected departed.It is worthy of note, also, that if the spirit--I will not say the medium --perceives after one knock that it were wiser to say yes, he can conveniently add the second tap.Some such arrangement in real life would, it appears to me, be highly desirable.
It seemed that the spirit was that of Vidocq, the French detective.I had just read a translation of his memoirs, and he seemed to me a very available spirit to call upon.
As soon as I explained that the spirit who answered had been a witness of the theft, the old man became strangely agitated.``Who was it?'' said he.At once the spirit indicated a desire to use the alphabet.As we went over the letters,--always a slow method, but useful when you want to observe excitable people,--my visitor kept saying, ``Quicker--go quicker.'' At length the spirit spelled out the words, ``I know not his name.''
``Was it,'' said the gentleman--``was it a--was it one of my household?''
I knocked ``yes'' without hesitation; who else, indeed, could it have been?
``Excuse me,'' he went on, ``if I ask you for a little whisky.''
This I gave him.He continued: ``Was it Susan or Ellen?''
``No, no!''
``Was it--'' He paused.``If I ask a question mentally, will the spirits reply?'' I knew what he meant.He wanted to ask if it was his son, but did not wish to speak openly.
``Ask,'' said I.
``I have,'' he returned.
I hesitated.It was rarely my policy to commit myself definitely, yet here I fancied, from the facts of the case and his own terrible anxiety, that he suspected, or more than suspected, his son as the guilty person.Ibecame sure of this as I studied his face.At all events, it would be easy to deny or explain in case of trouble; and, after all, what slander was there in two knocks? I struck twice as usual.
Instantly the old gentleman rose up, very white, but quite firm.``There,'' he said, and cast a bank-note on the table, ``I thank you,''
and bending his head on his breast, walked, as I thought, with great effort out of the room.
On the following morning, as I made my first appearance in my outer room, which contained at least a dozen persons awaiting advice, who should I see standing by the window but the old gentleman with sandy-gray hair?
Along with him was a stout young man with a head as red as mine, and mustache and whiskers to match.Probably the son, Ithought--ardent temperament, remorse, come to confess, etc.I was never more mistaken in my life.I was about to go regularly through my patients when the old gentleman began to speak.
``I called, doctor,'' said he, ``to explain the little matter about which I--about which I--''
``Troubled your spirits yesterday,'' added the youth, jocosely, pulling his mustache.
``Beg pardon,'' I returned; ``had we not better talk this over in private? Come into my office,'' I added, touching the younger man on the arm.
Would you believe it? he took out his handkerchief and dusted the place I had touched.
``Better not,'' said he.``Go on, father; let us get done with this den.''