More man? Plague, plague! APEMANTUS. I was directed hither. Men report Thou dost affect my manners and dost use them. TIMON. 'Tis, then, because thou dost not keep a dog, Whom I would imitate. Consumption catch thee! APEMANTUS. This is in thee a nature but infected, A poor unmanly melancholy sprung From change of fortune. Why this spade, this place? This slave-like habit and these looks of care? Thy flatterers yet wear silk, drink wine, lie soft, Hug their diseas'd perfumes, and have forgot That ever Timon was. Shame not these woods By putting on the cunning of a carper. Be thou a flatterer now, and seek to thrive By that which has undone thee: hinge thy knee, And let his very breath whom thou'lt observe Blow off thy cap; praise his most vicious strain, And call it excellent. Thou wast told thus; Thou gav'st thine ears, like tapsters that bade welcome, To knaves and all approachers. 'Tis most just That thou turn rascal; hadst thou wealth again Rascals should have't. Do not assume my likeness. TIMON. Were I like thee, I'd throw away myself. APEMANTUS. Thou hast cast away thyself, being like thyself; A madman so long, now a fool. What, think'st That the bleak air, thy boisterous chamberlain, Will put thy shirt on warm? Will these moist trees, That have outliv'd the eagle, page thy heels And skip when thou point'st out? Will the cold brook, Candied with ice, caudle thy morning taste To cure thy o'ernight's surfeit? Call the creatures Whose naked natures live in all the spite Of wreakful heaven, whose bare unhoused trunks, To the conflicting elements expos'd, Answer mere nature- bid them flatter thee. O, thou shalt find- TIMON. A fool of thee. Depart. APEMANTUS. I love thee better now than e'er I did. TIMON. I hate thee worse. APEMANTUS. Why? TIMON. Thou flatter'st misery. APEMANTUS. I flatter not, but say thou art a caitiff. TIMON. Why dost thou seek me out? APEMANTUS. To vex thee. TIMON. Always a villain's office or a fool's. Dost please thyself in't? APEMANTUS. Ay. TIMON. What, a knave too? APEMANTUS. If thou didst put this sour-cold habit on To castigate thy pride, 'twere well;but thou Dost it enforcedly. Thou'dst courtier be again Wert thou not beggar. Willing misery Outlives incertain pomp, is crown'd before. The one is filling still, never complete; The other, at high wish. Best state, contentless, Hath a distracted and most wretched being, Worse than the worst, content. Thou should'st desire to die, being miserable. TIMON. Not by his breath that is more miserable. Thou art a slave whom Fortune's tender arm With favour never clasp'd, but bred a dog. Hadst thou, like us from our first swath, proceeded The sweet degrees that this brief world affords To such as may the passive drugs of it Freely command, thou wouldst have plung'd thyself In general riot, melted down thy youth In different beds of lust, and never learn'd The icy precepts of respect, but followed The sug'red game before thee. But myself, Who had the world as my confectionary; The mouths, the tongues, the eyes, and hearts of men At duty, more than I could frame employment; That numberless upon me stuck, as leaves Do on the oak, have with one winter's brush Fell from their boughs, and left me open, bare For every storm that blows- I to bear this, That never knew but better, is some burden. Thy nature did commence in sufferance; time Hath made thee hard in't. Why shouldst thou hate men? They never flatter'd thee. What hast thou given? If thou wilt curse, thy father, that poor rag, Must be thy subject; who, in spite, put stuff To some she-beggar and compounded thee Poor rogue hereditary. Hence, be gone. If thou hadst not been born the worst of men, Thou hadst been a knave and flatterer. APEMANTUS. Art thou proud yet? TIMON. Ay, that I am not thee. APEMANTUS. I, that I was No prodigal. TIMON. I, that I am one now. Were all the wealth I have shut up in thee, I'd give thee leave to hang it. Get thee gone. That the whole life of Athens were in this! Thus would I eat it. [Eating a root] APEMANTUS. Here! I will mend thy feast. [Offering him food] TIMON. First mend my company: take away thyself. APEMANTUS. So I shall mend mine own by th' lack of thine. TIMON. 'Tis not well mended so; it is but botch'd. If not, I would it were. APEMANTUS. What wouldst thou have to Athens? TIMON. Thee thither in a whirlwind. If thou wilt, Tell them there I have gold; look, so I have. APEMANTUS. Here is no use for gold. TIMON. The best and truest; For here it sleeps and does no hired harm. APEMANTUS. Where liest a nights,Timon? TIMON. Under that's above me. Where feed'st thou a days, Apemantus? APEMANTUS. Where my stomach. finds meat; or rather, where I eat it. TIMON. Would poison were obedient, and knew my mind! APEMANTUS. Where wouldst thou send it? TIMON. To sauce thy dishes. APEMANTUS. The middle of humanity thou never knewest, but the extremity of both ends. When thou wast in thy gilt and thy perfume, they mock'd thee for too much curiosity; in thy ragsthou know'st none, but art despis'd for the contrary. There's a medlar for thee; eat it. TIMON. On what I hate I feed not. APEMANTUS. Dost hate a medlar? TIMON. Ay, though it look like thee. APEMANTUS. An th' hadst hated medlars sooner, thou shouldst have loved thyself better now. What man didst thou ever know unthrift that was beloved after his means? TIMON. Who, without those means thou talk'st of, didst thou ever know belov'd? APEMANTUS. Myself. TIMON. I understand thee: thou hadst some means to keep a dog. APEMANTUS. What things in the world canst thou nearest compare to thy flatterers? TIMON. Women nearest; but men, men are the things themselves. What wouldst thou do with the world, Apemantus, if it lay in thy power? APEMANTUS. Give it the beasts, to be rid of the men. TIMON. Wouldst thou have thyself fall in the confusion of men, and remain a beast with the beasts? APEMANTUS. Ay, Timon. TIMON. A beastly ambition, which the gods grant thee t' attain to! If thou wert the lion, the fox would beguile thee; if thou wert the lamb, the fox would eat thee; if thou wert the fox, the lion would suspect thee, when, peradventure, thou wert accus'd by the ass. If thou wert the ass, thy dulness would torment thee; and still thou liv'dst but as a breakfast to the wolf. If thou wert the wolf, thy greediness would afflict thee, and oft thou shouldst hazard thy life for thy dinner. Wert thou the unicorn, pride and wrath would confound thee, and make thine own self the conquest of thy fury. Wert thou bear, thou wouldst be kill'd by the horse; wert thou a horse, thou wouldst be seiz'd by the leopard; wert thou a leopard, thou wert german to the lion, and the spots of thy kindred were jurors on thy life. All thy safety were remotion, and thy defence absence. What beast couldst thou be that were not subject to a beast? And what beast art thou already, that seest not thy loss in transformation! APEMANTUS. If thou couldstplease me with speaking to me, thou mightst have hit upon it here. The commonwealth of Athens is become a forest of beasts. TIMON. How has the ass broke the wall, that thou art out of the city? APEMANTUS. Yonder comes a poet and a painter. The plague of company light upon thee! I will fear to catch it, and give way. When I know not what else to do, I'll see thee again. TIMON. When there is nothing living but thee, thou shalt be welcome. I had rather be a beggar's dog than Apemantus. APEMANTUS. Thou art the cap of all the fools alive. TIMON. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon! APEMANTUS. A plague on thee! thou art too bad to curse. TIMON. All villains that do stand by thee are pure. APEMANTUS. There is no leprosy but what thou speak'st. TIMON. If I name thee. I'll beat thee- but I should infect my hands. APEMANTUS. I would my tongue could rot them off! TIMON. Away, thou issue of a mangy dog! Choler does kill me that thou art alive; I swoon to see thee. APEMANTUS. Would thou wouldst burst! TIMON. Away, Thou tedious rogue! I am sorry I shall lose A stone by thee. [Throws a stone at him] APEMANTUS. Beast! TIMON. Slave! APEMANTUS. Toad! TIMON. Rogue, rogue, rogue! I am sick of this false world, and will love nought But even the mere necessities upon't. Then, Timon, presently prepare thy grave; Lie where the light foam of the sea may beat Thy gravestone daily; make thine epitaph, That death in me at others' lives may laugh. [Looks at the gold] O thou sweet king- killer, and dear divorce 'Twixt natural son and sire! thou bright defiler Of Hymen's purest bed! thou valiant Mars! Thou ever young, fresh, lov'd, and delicate wooer, Whose blush doth thaw the consecrated snow That lies on Dian's lap! thou visible god, That sold'rest close impossibilities, And mak'st them kiss! that speak'st with every tongue To every purpose! O thou touch of hearts! Think thy slave man rebels, and by thy virtue Set them into confounding odds, that beasts May have the world in empire! APEMANTUS. Would 'twere so! But not till I am dead. I'll say th' hast gold. Thou wilt be throng'd to shortly. TIMON. Throng'd to? APEMANTUS. Ay. TIMON. Thy back, I prithee. APEMANTUS. Live, and love thy misery! TIMON. Long live so, and so die! [Exit APEMANTUS] I am quit. More things like men? Eat, Timon, and abhor them.
