书城公版WIVES AND DAUGHTERS
19897600000293

第293章 ROGER HAMLEY'S CONFESSION(2)

Now, that's a kind of character which may be very valuable, but which revolts me.Give me warmth of heart, even with a little of that extravagance of feeling which misleads the judgment, and conducts into romance.Poor Mr Kirkpatrick! That was just his character.I used to tell him that his love for me was quite romantic.I think I have told you about his walking five miles in the rain to get me a muffin once when I was ill?' 'Yes!' said Molly.'It was very kind of him.' 'So imprudent, too! Just what one of your sensible, cold-hearted, commonplace people would never have thought of doing.With his cough and all.' 'I hope he didn't suffer for it?' replied Molly, anxious at any cost to keep off the subject of the Hamleys, upon which she and her stepmother always disagreed, and on which she found it difficult to keep her temper.'Yes, indeed, he did! I don't think he ever got over the cold he caught that day.I wish you had known him, Molly.I sometimes wonder what would have happened if you had been my real daughter, and Cynthia dear papa's, and Mr Kirkpatrick and your own dear mother had all lived.People talk a good deal about natural affinities.It would have been a question for a philosopher.' She began to think on the impossibilities she had suggested.'I wonder how the poor little boy is?' said Molly, after a pause, speaking out her thoughts.'Poor little child! When one thinks how little his prolonged existence is to be desired, one feels that his death would be a boon.' 'Mamma! what do you mean?' asked Molly, much shocked.'Why every one cares for his life as the most precious thing! You have never seen him! He is the bonniest, sweetest little fellow that can be! What do you mean?' 'I should have thought that the squire would have desired a better-born heir than the offspring of a servant, - with all his ideas about descent, and blood, and family.And I should have thought that it was a little mortifying to Roger - who must naturally have looked upon himself as his brother's heir - to find a little interloping child, half French, half English, stepping into his shoes!' 'You don't know how fond they are of him, - the squire looks upon him as the apple of his eye.' 'Molly! Molly! pray don't let me hear you using such vulgar expressions.

When shall I teach you true refinement - that refinement which consists in never even thinking a vulgar, commonplace thing? Proverbs and idioms are never used by people of education."Apple of his eye!" I am really shocked.' 'Well, mamma, I'm very sorry; but after all, what I wanted to say as strongly as I could was, that the squire loves the little boy as much as his own child; and that Roger - oh! what a shame to think that Roger -- ' And she stopped suddenly short, as if she were choked.'I don't wonder at your indignation, my dear!' said Mrs Gibson.'It is just what I should have felt at your age.But one learns the baseness of human nature with advancing years.I was wrong, though, to undeceive you so early - but depend upon it, the thought I alluded to has crossed Roger Hamley's mind!' 'All sorts of thoughts cross one's mind - it depends upon whether one gives them harbour and encouragement,' said Molly.'My dear, if you must have the last word, don't let it be a truism.But let us talk on some more interesting subject.I asked Cynthia to buy me a silk gown in Paris, and I said I would send her word what colour I fixed upon - I think dark blue is the most becoming to my complexion; what do you say?' Molly agreed, sooner than take the trouble of thinking about the thing at all; she was far too full of her silent review of all the traits in Roger's character which had lately come under her notice, and that gave the lie direct to her stepmother's supposition.Just then they heard Mr Gibson's step downstairs.But it was some time before he made his entrance into the room where they were sitting.'How is little Roger?' said Molly, eagerly.'Beginning with scarlet fever, I'm afraid.It's well you left when you did, Molly.You've never had it.We must stop up all intercourse with the Hall for a time.If there's one illness I dread, it is this.' 'But you go and come back to us, papa.' 'Yes.But I always take plenty of precautions.However, no need to talk about risks that lie in the way of one's duty.It is unnecessary risks that we must avoid.' 'Will he have it badly?' asked Molly.'I can't tell.I shall do my best for the wee laddie.' Whenever Mr Gibson's feelings were touched, he was apt to recur to the language of his youth.Molly knew now that he was much interested in the case.For some days there was imminent danger to the little boy; for some weeks there was a more chronic form of illness to contend with; but when the immediate danger was over and the warm daily interest was past, Molly began to realize that, from the strict quarantine her father evidently thought it necessary to establish between the two houses, she was not likely to see Roger again before his departure for Africa.Oh! if she had but made more of the uncared-for days that she had passed with him at the Hall!