书城公版WIVES AND DAUGHTERS
19897600000198

第198章 SECRET THOUGHTS OOZE OUT (2)

I was quite shocked.' 'Ah,' said Mrs.Gibson, 'I'm afraid that young man won't live long - very much afraid,' and she shook her head ominously.'Oh, what will happen if he dies!' exclaimed Molly, suddenly sitting down, and thinking of that strange, mysterious wife who never made her appearance, whose very existence was never spoken about - and Roger away too! 'Well, it would be very sad, of course, and we should all feel it very much, I've no doubt; for I've always been very fond of Osborne; in fact, before Roger became, as it were, my own flesh and blood, I liked Osborne better: but we must not forget the living, dear Molly' (for Molly's eyes were filling with tears at the dismal thoughts presented to her).'Our dear good Roger would, I am sure, do all in his power to fill Osborne's place in every way; and his marriage need not be so long delayed.' 'Don't speak of that in the same breath as Osborne's life, mamma,' said Cynthia, hastily.'Why, my dear, it is a very natural thought.For poor Roger's sake, you know, one wishes it not to be so very very long an engagement; and I was only answering Molly's question, after all.One can't help following out one's thoughts.People must die, you know - young, as well as old.' 'If I ever suspected Roger of following out his thoughts in a similar way,'

said Cynthia, 'I'd never speak to him again.' 'As if he would!' said Molly, warm in her turn.'You know he never would;and you should not suppose it of him, Cynthia - no, not even for a moment!' 'I can't see the great harm of it all, for my part,' said Mrs Gibson, plaintively.

'A young man strikes us all as looking very ill - and I'm sure I'm sorry for it; but illness very often leads to death.Surely you agree with me there, and what's the harm of saying so? Then Molly asks what will happen if he dies; and I try to answer her question.I don't like talking or thinking of death any more than any one else; but I should think myself wanting in strength of mind if I could not look forward to the consequences of death.I really think we're commanded to do so, somewhere in the Bible or the Prayer-book.' 'Do you look forward to the consequences of my death, mamma?' asked Cynthia.'You really are the most unfeeling girl I ever met with,' said Mrs Gibson, really hurt.'I wish I could give you a little of my own sensitiveness, for I have too much for my happiness.Don't let us speak of Osborne's looks again; ten to one it was only some temporary over-fatigue, or some anxiety about Roger, or perhaps a little fit of indigestion.I was very foolish to attribute it to anything more serious, and dear papa might be displeased if he knew I had done so.Medical men don't like other people to be making conjectures about health; they consider it as trenching on their own particular province, and very proper I'm sure.Now let us consider about your dress, Cynthia; I could not understand how you had spent your money, and made so little show with it.' 'Mammal it may sound very cross, but I must tell Molly and you, and everybody, once for all, that as I don't want and did not ask for more than my allowance, I'm not going to answer any questions about what I do with it.' She did not say this with any want of respect; but she said it with quiet determination, which subdued her mother for the time, though often afterwards when Mrs Gibson and Molly were alone, the former would start the wonder as to what Cynthia could possibly have done with her money, and hunt each poor conjecture through woods and valleys of doubt, till she was wearied out;' and the exciting sport was given up for the day.At present, however, she confined herself to the practical matter in hand; and the genius for millinery and dress, inherent in both mother and daughter, soon settled a great many knotty points of contrivance and taste, and then they all three set to work to 'gar auld claes look amaist as weel's the new.' Cynthia's relations with the squire had been very stationary ever since the visit she had paid to the Hall the previous autumn.He had received them all at that time with hospitable politeness, and he had also been more charmed with Cynthia than he liked to acknowledge to himself when he thought the visit all over afterwards.'She's a pretty lass sure enough,' thought he, 'and has pretty ways about her too, and likes to learn from older people, which is a good sign; but somehow I don't like madam her mother, but still she is her mother, and the girl is her daughter; yet she spoke to her once or twice as I should not ha' liked our little Fanny to have spoken, if it had pleased God for her to ha' lived.No, it's not the right way, and it may be a bit old-fashioned, but I like the right way.And then again she took possession o' me as Imay say, and little Molly had to run after us in the garden walks that are too narrow for three, just like a little four-legged doggie; and the other was so full of listening to me, she never turned round for to speak a word to Molly.I don't mean to say they're not fond of each other, and that's in Roger's sweetheart's favour, and it's very ungrateful in me to go and find fault with a lass who was so civil to me, and had such a pretty way with her of hanging on every word that fell from my lips.Well! a deal may come and go in two years! and the lad says nothing to me about it.