书城公版WASHINGTON SQUARE
19883900000046

第46章

HE HAD slightly misrepresented the matter in saying that Catherine had consented to take the great step.We left her just now declaring that she would burn her ships behind her; but Morris, after having elicited this declaration, had become conscious of good reasons for not taking it up.He avoided, gracefully enough, fixing a day, though he left her under the impression that he had his eye on one.

Catherine may have had her difficulties; but those of her circumspect suitor are also worthy of consideration.The prize was certainly great; but it was only to be won by striking the happy mean between precipitancy and caution.It would be all very well to take one's jump and trust to Providence; Providence was more especially on the side of clever people, and clever people were known by an indisposition to risk their bones.

The ultimate reward of a union with a young woman who was both unattractive and impoverished ought to be connected with immediate disadvantages by some very palpable chain.Between the fear of losing Catherine and her possible fortune altogether, and the fear of taking her too soon and finding this possible fortune as void of actuality as a collection of emptied bottles, it was not comfortable for Morris Townsend to choose- a fact that should be remembered by readers disposed to judge harshly of a young man who may have struck them as making but an indifferently successful use of fine natural parts.He had not forgotten that in any event Catherine had her own ten thousand a year; he had devoted an abundance of meditation to this circumstance.But with his fine parts he rated himself high, and he had a perfectly definite appreciation of his value, which seemed to him inadequately represented by the sum I have mentioned.At the same time he reminded himself that this sum was considerable, that everything is relative, and that if a modest income is less desirable than a large one, the complete absence of revenue is nowhere accounted an advantage.

These reflections gave him plenty of occupation, and made it necessary that he should trim his sail.Doctor Sloper's opposition was the unknown quantity in the problem he had to work out.The natural way to work it out was by marrying Catherine; but in mathematics there are many shortcuts, and Morris was not without a hope that he should yet discover one.When Catherine took him at his word, and consented to renounce the attempt to mollify her father, he drew back skillfully enough, as I have said, and kept the wedding day still an open question.Her faith in his sincerity was so complete that she was incapable of suspecting that he was playing with her; her trouble just now was of another kind.The poor girl had an admirable sense of honor, and from the moment she had brought herself to the point of violating her father's wish, it seemed to her that she had no right to enjoy his protection.It was on her conscience that she ought to live under his roof only so long as she conformed to his wisdom.There was a great deal of glory in such a position, but poor Catherine felt that she had forfeited her claim to it.She had cast her lot with a young man against whom he had solemnly warned her, and broken the contract under which he provided her with a happy home.She could not give up the young man, so she must leave the home; and the sooner the object of her preference offered her another, the sooner her situation would lose its awkward twist.This was close reasoning; but it was commingled with an infinite amount of merely instinctive penitence.Catherine's days, at this time, were dismal, and the weight of some of her hours was almost more than she could bear.Her father never looked at her, never spoke to her.He knew perfectly what he was about, and this was part of a plan.She looked at him as much as she dared (for she was afraid of seeming to offer herself to his observation), and she pitied him for the sorrow she had brought upon him.She held up her head and busied her hands, and went about her daily occupations; and when the state of things in Washington Square seemed intolerable, she closed her eyes and indulged herself with an intellectual vision of the man for whose sake she had broken a sacred law.