书城外语玩转幽默英语
11332500000007

第7章 Lawyer and Policeman律师与警察

有人说:“好律师,坏邻居!”和律师做邻居你敢吗?先看看他们和他们的工作吧!

A:If I lose this case, I'll be ruined.A:如果我输了这场官司,我就完了。B:It's in the judge's hand now.B:这事掌握在法官的手上。A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of apples?A:如果我给法官一箱苹果,会不会起点作用?B:Oh, no! This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court.In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge.B:哦,不会的!这位法官很固执,注意职业道德。这种花招只会让他对你产生偏见,他甚至会认为你蔑视法庭。事实上,你甚至都不用对他微笑。A:Thanks for the tip about the apple, it worked.A:谢谢你关于苹果的忠告,这很管用。B:I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them.B:如果你送了的话,我肯定你会输掉这场官司。A:But I did send them.A:但是我的确送了。B:What?You did?!B:什么?你送了?!A:Yes, that's how won the case.A:对,这就是我们赢得这场官司的原因。B:I don't understand.B:我不明白。A:It's easy, I sent the apple to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card.A:这很简单,我把苹果送到了法官那里,但是附上原告的一张名片。

A:Why are you eating grass?A:你们为什么吃草呀?B:We don't have any money for food.B:我们没钱购买食物。A:Oh, come along with me then.A:噢,那么跟我来吧。B:But, sir, I have a wife and four children.B:但是,先生,我有一个妻子和四个孩子。A:Bring them along. (Turn to the other man) Come with us.A:带他们一起来。(转向另一个人)你也跟我们来吧。C:But, sir, I have a wife and eight children.C:可是,先生,我有一个妻子和八个孩子!A:Bring them as well!A:把他们也一同带来!B:Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.B:先生,您真是太好了。谢谢您把我们都带上。A:No problem, the grass at my home is almost a foot tall.A:没关系,我家的草都快一英尺高了。

A:Mrs.Jack, do you know me?A:杰克太太,你认识我吗?B:Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.Williams, I've known you since you were a young boy.And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,you cheat on your wife, you manipulate, people and talk about them behind their backs.You think you're a rising anything more than a twolit paper pusher.Yes, I know you.B:噢,是的,我确实认识你,威廉先生。自从你孩提时代我就认识你了。但是坦率地说,你令我非常失望。你撒谎,你对你太太不忠,你操纵人们并且在背后谈论他们。你认为你是日益长大的大人物,但你却从来没有意识到你到头来只不过是一名微不足道的使用伪造支票者。是的,我认识你。A:Mrs.Jack,do you know the defense attorney?A:杰克太太,你认识这位辩护律师吗?B:Why, yes, I do. I've know Mr.Bradley since he was a youngster too.I used to babysit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me.He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law pracitice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.Yes, I know him.B:噢,是的,我认识。我也是从布雷德利先生孩提时代就认识他的。我过去常常帮他父母看护他。他也很令我失望。他懒惰、固执,还酗酒成性。他无法与任何人建立正常的人际关系,他的律师业务是全州最差的。是的,我认识他。C:If either of you asks her if she knows me, you will be jailed for contempt!C:如果你们俩当中任何一个问她是否认识我,你们将以蔑视法官的罪名被处以监禁!

A:Hello,110.A:你好,110.B:Hello, a truck completely tore off the door of my new car. B:喂!一辆卡车把我的新车车门撞掉了。A:Ok. Just a minute, I will come soon.A:好的,我马上就到。B:My Lexus, which I have just picked up the day before, is now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.B:我前天刚买的凌志轿车已经被彻底毁坏,无论汽车修理厂怎样修理,它不可能恢复原样了。A:I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are.You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else.A:我真不敢相信,你们这些律师怎么会这么物质至上,你把所有注意力都集中到财产上以至于注意不到其他任何东西。B:How can you say such a thing?B:你怎么能这样说话呢?A:Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down?It must have been torn off when the truck hit you.A:难道你不知道你的左臂从肘部以下都没有了吗?肯定是卡车撞到车门时把它也给撞掉了。B:My God! Where is my Rolex?B:天哪!我的劳力士表哪儿去了?

1.I'll finish the rest of the document.

我会把文件写完。

当中的the rest 是指“剩余的部分”。如:

I'll spend the rest of my life in New Zealand (我将在纽西兰度过余生)。rest也是“休息”的意思。和rest有关的词组有at rest(睡觉、休息),day of rest(安息日),take a rest (休息),rest up (充分休息),rest home (养老院),rest room (休息室)。

2.Leave me alone.

是“别打扰我”的意思。leave behind (遗落), leave no stone unturned (不遗余力), leave message (留话),take it or leave it (要不要随便你), on leave (请假),take one's leave of (向……告别)。这些短语都和leave相关。如:

I'll leave message for your manager.

我要给你们经理留话。

成功的successful

律师lawyer

停车park

名牌brand

凌志Lexus

炫耀show off

同事colleague

卡车truck

tore 是动词tear 的过去式, tear off 意为“刮掉”

急速拿起grab

手机cell phone

拨号dial

停下,这里作“赶到”讲pull up

大喊scream

歇斯底里地hysterically

获得pick up

毁坏ruin

不管怎样no matter what

wound 是动词wind 的过去式,意为“休息”

咆哮ranting

疯狂raving

讨厌disgust

不信任disbelief

物质利益materialistic

看重focus on

财产possession

警察cop

肘子elbow

hit 是动词hit 的过去式,意为“打击、撞击”

劳力士(一种名牌手表)

Rolex

稳重的表情staidlooking

绅士gentleman

大喊bark

旁观者bystander

饶恕forgive

道歉apologize

急促地说snap

养家,谋生for a living

孩子kid

警察policeman

吉莉Jelly

保罗Polo

吸气gasp

转换主题change the subject

校园schoolyard

塞西尔Cecile

私下privately

裸体nude

一家同性恋餐馆a gay bar

脸红blush

审计师auditor

安达信(是美国的一家上市公司,因作虚假报表被媒体曝光)Arthur Andersen

使窘迫、使为难embarrass

到达arrive

牙齿tooth

left 是动词leave 的过去式,意为“离开”

不寻常的unusual

非正式的informal

还yet

一、翻译下列对话:

(一)Bar tender酒吧侍者

A:Have you ever been arrested before?

B:No,sir.

A:Have you ever been in this court before?

B:No, sir.

A:Are you sure of that?

B:Yes, sir.

A:Your face looks very familiar…Very familiar. Where have I seen you before?

B:Well, sir, I am a bartender in the saloon across the street from here.

(二)News消息

A:Do you want the good news first or the bad news?

B:Give me the good news first!

A:Your wife found a picture worth a million dollars.

B:Really?Very good! I needn't give her money later and the bad news?

A:It's of you and your secretary.

二、根据所提供词或词组完成下列句子:

anticipate

delivered

line

submit

specific

provide

supervise

1.All the bidders will be invited to join us to the opening.

2.Wethat we will send the notice calling of bid at the beginning of next month.

3.Would you like to tell meinformation on tender?

4.What kind of guarantees will you us with?

5.Where is the tender document to be ?

6.Participation in tenders belongs to our of business.

7.We must know the details about bid conditions, or we are not going to the tender.

警察是人民的卫士,他们在工作中会遇到各种各样的事和人,也会引发很多的笑话,你想知道吗?和我们一起去看看吧!

A:I'm terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid there has been a mistake.You see that police officer sitting at the next table? Well, he's a regular customer of ours and he usually orders the same dish.The problem is, this is the last chicken in the house, I'm afraid I'll have to take your meal to him and arrange for you to have something else from the menu.A:先生,我十分抱歉,出了一点小差错。您看到了坐那张桌子的警官了吗?他是我们的老顾客而且他总点同一道菜。问题在于,这只鸡已经是最后一只了,我不得不把你点的菜拿给他,然后给你上点别的菜。B:No.B:不。C:Now you listen to me, young man, and listen good.That is my chicken you're about to eat and I'll warn you, whatever you do to that chicken I'll do the same to you.You pull out one of its legs, I'll pull out one of yours.You break one of its wings. I'll break one of your arms!C:年轻人,现在你给我好好听着。你要吃的鸡是我的鸡。我警告你,不管你对它做什么,我都要你付出代价。你撕下他的一条腿,我会撕下你的一条腿。你扯断他的一只翅膀,我会扯断你的一条胳膊。B:Okay,give you!B:好吧,给你吧!

A:Sir, I'll need you to blow into this breathalyser.A:先生,我想让你朝这个呼吸分析器里喷一口气。B:I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that. I'm an asthmatic, and if I do that I could have a bad asthma attack.B:抱歉,警官,我不能那么做,我有哮喘,那样做的话。我的哮喘就会发作。A:Ok, sir.Then I have to ask you to come down to the station with me to give us a blood sample.A:好的,先生,那么我要你跟我到警察局去采个血样。B:I can't do that either, officer. I suffer from a lifethreatening form of haemophilia, and if my skin is punctured in any way, especially by a sharp needle, I could easily bleed to death.B:警官,这也不行,我有危及生命的血友病,如果皮肤被刺破了,尤其是被尖尖的针头刺破的话,我就很容易因出血不止而死的。A:No problem, sir, then we'll just take a urine sample.A:没问题,先生,那么我们就来采个尿样吧。B:I'm awful sorry, officer, I also have diabetes, and if I piss this late at night, I'll get low blood sugar and possibly even go into cardiac arrest.B:真是对不起,警官,我还有糖尿病,如果这么晚了我还小便的话,我的血糖会很低,很可能心脏会停止跳动。A:I see, sir. Then I'll need you to step out of your vehicle and walk a straight line for me right here and now.A:知道了,先生,那么我要你立刻从车里下来沿着这条直线向我走过来。B:I can't do that either, officer.B:我不能这么做,警官。A:And why is that, sir?A:那么是为什么呢,先生?B:Because I'm too pissed.B:因为我喝多了。

A:Did you tee off on the 18th hole about 30 minutes ago?A:你是否30分钟前在第18号洞发球?B:Yes.B:是的。A:Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?A:你是不是碰巧钩住了球,而球越过了树然后就偏离了轨道?B:Yes, I did, how did you know?B:是的,你怎么知道的?A:Well,your ball flew out on to the highway and crashed through a driver's windscreen.The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire A:噢,是这样的,你的球飞到了高速公路上,并打碎了一辆汽车的挡风玻璃,这辆汽车当场失控,撞上了其他的五辆汽车及一辆准备救火的消防车,这辆消防engine.The fire engine couldn't make it to the fire and the building burned down.So, what are you going to do about it?车不能灭火,因此着火的建筑被烧毁了。关于此事你打算怎么办?B:I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.B:我想我应该动作幅度小一点,拳头握紧,右手拇指还应低一点。

1.I have no trouble communicating with my boss.

我跟我的老板沟通没问题。

这里trouble是“麻烦,烦恼,毛病”的意思,可当名词和动词。如:

Could I trouble you to open the door for me?(可否麻烦你替我开门?)和trouble有关的词组有get into trouble(惹麻烦,陷入困境),look for trouble (自找麻烦),take the trouble to…(不辞劳苦),fish in the troubled waters(浑水摸鱼),don't trouble (不用麻烦了)。

2.I'd rather die than surrender myself to enemy.

rather than是指“与其……而不”。rather 也可当副词解释成“宁愿,反而,更确切地说,当然”。如:

I feel rather tired when I get home after work every evening.

我每天晚上下班回到家时都感到相当累。

诚实honesty

警官police officer

交谈,对话exchange

发生take place

怎么啦?What's the prob

lem?

至少at least

地带,地区zone

伯格Berger

恶狠狠的表情a dirty look

罚单ticket

(汽车的)尾灯taillight

传票citation

座椅安全带seat belt

拿掉take off

走近walk up to

该死的dang

喝醉的drunk

危险的dangerous

多莉丝Doris

购物shopping

很少seldom

野餐picnic

一条乡间小路a country road

陡峭的steep

坠毁crash

这里当“山脚”讲bottom

旅馆,饭店hotel

着火catch fire

睡衣night clothes

纸币paper money

燃烧burn

钞票bill

作家writer

发生happen

飞行flight

旅客passenger

纠缠pester

侮辱insult

乘务员attendant

然而nevertheless

有效地efficiently

complied 是动词comply 的过去式,意为“照做”

要求request

讨厌的obnoxious

dumbest 是形容词 dumb的最高级形式,意为“最笨的”

个人individual

遇到come across

友善的,温和的amiable

冷静地calmly

处以罚款fine

醉鬼drunkard

法官judge

送deliver

包裹package

仓库stock

皮夹,钱包wallet

懒惰的lazy

一、翻译下列对话:

(一)The God上帝

A:So, you're a man-that's interesting, I'm a woman.Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are both unhurt.This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends, and live together in peace for the rest of our days.

B:I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

A:And look at this, here's another miracle.My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.

B:Aren't you having any?

A:I think I'll just wait for the police…

(二)Headache头疼

A:Oh, darling,I've got a terrible headache.Can you pop to the alnight garage and get me some aspirin?

B:Hey,I thought you were a policeman.

A:I am.

B:Then why are you wearing a fireman's uniform?

二、根据所提供词或词组完成下列句子:

attention

exhibition

fond

classical

contemporary

allowed

sculpture

locker

souvenir

A:What kind of gallery is it?

B:It is for (1)artistic art including painting and(2).

A:I am (3)with impressionist paintings. Is there anything about them?

B:Yes, the (4)about impressionist is on the second floor. You can see the works of Monet, Van Gogh, Paul Cezanne and so on.

A:Great. Can I find the painting of Picasso?

B:Yes, it is also on the second floor. We are paying (5)to the modern artistic productions, so all the (6)styles are placed on the upstairs.

A:I see. May I take pictures?

B:You can, but flash photos are not(7).

A:Where can I go if I want to buy the souvenir, such as sketchbook or poster?

B:There is a (8)shop inside. You can choose the one you prefer.

A:Do I have to put my bags in the locker?

B:Yes, you must. Please go to the (9)on the left first and then buy the ticket on the right.