书城外语笑死你的英文书:英语幽默笑话
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第82章 Whose Dog Was the Smartest

Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest。

The first man,an engineer,called to his dog,“T Square,show your stuff。”The dog trotted over to a desk,pulled out a paper and pencil,and drew a perfect triangle。

The next guy,an accountant,called to his dog,“Slide Rule,go ahead。”The dog went to the kitchen,nibbled open a bag of cookies and divided the contents into four equal piles。

The next man,a chemist,beckoned his dog,Beaker,to show what he could do。The dog went to the fridge,took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup。

The last man was a government worker。“Coffee Break”he hollered to his dog,“go to it。”With that,the dog jumped to his feet,soiled the paper,ate the cookies and drank the milk。

谁的狗最聪明

四个朋友在为谁的狗最聪明而争吵。

第一个人是个工程师,他对自己的狗喊道:“T形角,使出你的本领来。”这只狗便跑向一个书桌,拉出一张纸和一支铅笔,画出了一个完美的三角形。

第二个人是个会计。他对他的狗说:“珠算法,上吧。”那狗直奔厨房,用嘴咬开一袋甜饼并把饼分成了四等份。

第三个人是位药剂师。他命令他的狗――量杯,表现一下。那狗径直走向冰箱,叼出一夸脱牛奶并精确地把八盎司牛奶倒入一个量杯中。

最后一位是政府职员。“咖啡时间,”他对自己的狗喊叫,“去吧。”话还未落,那狗便跳将起来,踏污了那张纸,吃掉了所有的甜饼,喝光了那杯牛奶。

stuff[stf]vt。以……填进,塞满n。材料;东西

例:She stuffed her clothes in the wardrobe。她把衣服塞进衣橱。

trot[trt]vt。&vi。小跑,急走

例:The riders came trotting down the lane。这骑手骑着马在小路上慢跑。

nibble[nibl]vt。&vi。啃;一点一点地咬(吃)

例:She nibbled at her food。她一小口一小口地吃东西。

beckon[bekn]vt。&vi。(用头或手的动作)示意,召唤

例:He beckoned me to come nearer。他招手叫我去。

quart[kw:t]n。夸脱(容量单位=1/4加仑,约1.14升);装一夸脱的容器

holler[hl]vt。&vi。喊出(某事物);叫喊

Love me,love my dog。意为“爱屋及乌”,比喻爱一个人而连带地关心到与其有关的人或物。如:It was a case of love me,love my dog,for Mary would never accept an invitation unless Anne were included in it。(这是一种爱屋及乌的关系。请玛丽而不请安妮,玛丽是不会接受邀请的。)

狗在英语中一向被当作忠实、可爱、聪敏的象征,因此与之有关的短语大多为褒义词,但是a dog in the manger是个例外。从字面来看,a dog in the manger是指“马厩里的狗”,狗怎么跑到马厩里去了呢?

这个短语最早出现于《伊索寓言》,故事的梗概是这样的:一匹马和一头牛正在马厩里吃草,这时,一条狗闯了进来,它十分霸道地要马和牛都走开。马和牛十分温和地对它说:“可是你是不吃草的呀!”这条狗却蛮不讲理地说:“我是不吃草,可是我不吃的东西也不能让你们白吃!”就这样,这条狗霸占了盛满稻草的马槽,却赶走了以草为生的马和牛。而它自己呢,也只能看着稻草却不能吃。

汉语中也有表达同样意思的一个俗语:“占着茅坑不拉屎”。根据具体的语境,这个短语还可以理解为“自私自利的人”,“一毛不拔的人”等。

例如:Don’t be such a dog in the manger。Lend your bicycle to him since you will not go out this afternoon。别这么不够朋友,既然你今天下午不出去就把自行车借给他用一用。