书城外语笑死你的英文书:英语幽默笑话
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第7章 Post Haste

My husband asked me to go to the post office to mail his resume in anticipation of a job interview。He instructed me to send it the fastest way possible。

Struck by the urgency in his voice,I grabbed a handful of change and dashed out the door。Arriving at the post office,I rushed to the counter and breathlessly explained to the clerk that my envelope had to be delivered immediately。He casually weighed the envelope and said it would cost$10.03.I fumbled through my pockets and tallied up my coins。“But I don’t have$10.03,”I said。He punched some more buttons and said,“Okay,that will be$7.40,ma’am。”

Once more I said in dismay,“Sorry,I don’t have$7.40.”

“Well”he sighed,“exactly how much do you have?”

I meekly answered,“I have exactly$2.15,sir。”

With that,he yelled over his shoulder to a coworker,“Hey,Charlie,get the pigeon ready。”

邮政快递

我丈夫让我到邮局寄他的履历,期望能得到工作面试的机会。他告诉我要用尽可能快的方式把它寄出去。

我感到他语气紧急,就抓了一把零钱,冲出了家门。到了邮局,我冲到柜台,上气不接下气地向职员解释说我的信必须马上寄出。他漫不经心地称了一下信的重量,说邮费是十元零三分。我翻遍了我的口袋,把所有的硬币都算上。“可是我没有十元零三分,”我说。他又敲了几个键,然后说:“那好吧,七元四角,夫人。”

我又一次茫然地说:“对不起,我没有七块四。”

“那,”他叹了口气,“确切地说你有多少?”

我很谦和地回答道:“我有整整两块一角五分,先生。”

听了这话,他转过头向身后的同事喊道:“嗨,查理,准备好鸽子。”

urgency[:dnsi]n。紧迫;急迫;紧要

例:The urgency of the situation requires that we should make an immediate decision。局势紧迫,需要我们立即做出决定。

breathlessly[breθlisli]adv。气喘地,屏息地,闷热的

例:He shuddered breathlessly in the doorway until his pursuer had raced past。他在门道里吓得喘不过气来,直到追捕者飞跑而过,他才缓过气来。

fumble[fmbl]vt。&vi。(笨拙地)摸索或处理(某事物)vi。乱摸,笨拙地弄

例:Benjamin fumbled for the light switch。本杰明手忙脚乱地找电灯开关。

tally up结算,总结

例:I have not tallied up the inestimable benefit。我尚未计算那些无法估量的利益。

dismay[dismei]vt。使惊愕,使焦虑,使气馁

例:The thought that she might fail the history test dismayed her。想到历史可能考不及格时,她很沮丧。

meekly[mi:kli]adv。温顺地,懦弱地

和post office(邮局)有关的常见词与短语:

post,mail,postage,stamp,envelope,parcel,airmail,EMS(Emergent Mail Service),registered mail,transfer(汇款),postcard,telegram,fax(facsimile),cable(电报)等。

More haste,less speed。意为“欲速则不达。”指过于性急图快,反而不能达到目的。“欲速则不达”出自《论语?子路》:“无欲速,无见小利。欲速则不达,见小利则大事不成。”Out of office,out of danger。意为“无官一身轻。”指不做官了,感到一身轻松。封建官僚辞官以后常用这句话来自我安慰。现也泛指卸去责任后一时感到轻松。“无官一身轻”出自宋朝苏轼的《贺子由生第四孙》诗:“无官一身轻,有子万事足。”