书城外语笑死你的英文书:英语幽默笑话
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第10章 Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife

This story is told of a browbeating counsel,who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent’s witnesses。

One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations。

“I want‘yes’or‘no’,”thundered the counsel。“There is no need for you to argue the point!”

“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no’,”mildly responded the witness。

“There are not!”snapped the lawyer。

“Oh,”said the witness,“answer this then,‘Have you ceased beating your wife?’”

你停止打你老婆了吗

这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师,他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。

有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释。

“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’,”辩护律师怒喝道,“你没有必要就这个问题进行争论。”

“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。

“不存在这样的问题!”律师厉声打断他。

“噢,”证人说,“那么请你回答这个问题,‘你停止打你老婆了吗?’”

cease[si:s]vt。&vi。停止,终止,结束

例:The storm has ceased。暴风雨停了。

counsel[kaunsl]n。忠告,劝告;辩护律师,法律顾问

例:Listen to the counsel of your elders。听从长辈们的劝告吧。

browbeat[braubi:t]vt。(用神情、言词)威吓,严词厉色地斥责

例:The judge browbeat the witness。那法官威吓证人。

terrorize[terraiz]vt。使恐怖,使畏惧;使用胁迫或暴力手段恐吓

例:How had this monster been allowed to terrorize the poor girl unchallenged?怎么会让这个恶魔欺凌那个可怜的姑娘如此之久,而没受到制止和制裁呢?

preface[prefis]n。序言,前言;开端,前奏

例:He has written a fine preface to the play。他为这个剧本写了一篇精彩的序言。

lengthy[leθi]adj。长的,漫长的,?嗦的

例:The professor wrote a lengthy book on Napoleon。教授写了一部有关拿破仑的巨著。

snap[snp]vt。&vi。猛地咬住;(使某物)发出尖厉声音地突然断裂(打开或关闭)

例:The enormous fish snapped the line。一条大鱼咬住了线。

curious as Lot’s wife

思念据说可以使人化石,所以我国到处都有“望夫登高山,化石竟不还”的传说。好奇则据说可以使人化为盐柱,英文成语curious as Lot’s wife(像罗得的妻子一样好奇)就是证据。

罗得是《圣经?创世纪》里说的一位君子,住在所多玛(Sodom)城里。由于所多玛、蛾摩拉(Gormorrah)两地的人罪孽深重,上帝决定降天火毁灭他们,事前遣天使叫罗得携妻子、女儿一起出城,但“不可回头望”。罗得的妻子按捺不住好奇心,出城之后回头望了一眼,马上变作了一根盐柱。后来,人们就用curious as Lot’s wife一语来说“好奇心太重”,如:Curious as Lot’s wife,he enjoys prying into other people’s secrets and is therefore generally disliked。(他好奇心太重,很爱打听人家的秘密,所以人们多数都不喜欢他。)

Counsel to Girls给少女们的忠告

by Robert Herrick(屠岸译)

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,可以采花的时机,别错过,

Old Times is still aflying:时光老人在飞驰:

And this same flower that smiles today,今天还在微笑的花朵

Tomorrow will be dying。明天就会枯死。

The glorious Lamp of Heaven,the Sun,太阳,那盏天上的华灯,

The higher he’s agetting向上攀登得越高,

The sooner will his race be run,路程的终点就会越临近,

And nearer he’s to setting。剩余的时光也越少。

That age is best which is the first,青春的年华是最最美好的,

When youth and blood are warmer;血气方刚,多热情;

But being spend,the worse,and worst过了青年,那越来越不妙的

Times,still succeed the former。年月会陆续来临。

Then be not coy,but use your time;那么,别怕羞,抓住机缘,

And while ye may,go marry:你们该及时结婚;

For having lost but once your prime,你一旦错过了少年,

You may for ever tarry。会成千古恨。

注:

ye:第二人称代词thou(=you)的复数形式。

aflying:由动名词加词头a构成的现在分词,同flying。

prime:青春

tarry:耽搁、延迟