书城外语人生要耐得住寂寞
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第14章 Abandon And Obtain人生舍与得(7)

People choose some friends because they are fun to be with;they “Make things happen”.Likewise,common interests appear to be a significant factor in selecting friends.Families with children,for instance,tend to gravitate toward families with Children.It is normal to befriend people who have similar lifestyles,and organizations such as Parents without Partners have appeared on the scene as a natural outgrowth of this tendency.These groups provide an opportunity to socialize,make new acquaintances and fiends,obtain helpful advice in adapting smoothly to a new lifestyle.Other groups focus on specific interest such as camping or politics.It is perfectly acceptable to select friends for special qualities as long as there is a balanced giving and taking that is mutually satisfying.

Very close and trusted friends share confidences candidly.They feel secure that they will not be ridiculed or derided,and their confidences will be honored.Betraying a trust is a very quick and painful way to terminatea friendship.

As friendships solidify,ties strengthen.Intimate relationships enrich people’s lives.Some components of a thriving friendship are honesty,naturalness,thoughtfulness,and some common interests.

Circumstances and people are constantly changing.Some friendships last“forever”;others do not.Nevertheless,friendship is an essential ingredient in the making of a healthful,rewarding life.

真正的好朋友,并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题,而是在一起,就算不说话,也不会感到尴尬。

参考翻译(彭琪淋)

友谊既是快乐的源泉又是健康的重要要素。拥有密友的人可以很自然地享受到朋友的陪伴。同样重要的是,他们也获得了稳固的情感益处。有好事发生的时候,和朋友们分享喜悦可以增加我们的愉悦之情。与之相反地是,在艰难和紧张的时候,当你情绪低落时,向朋友倾诉你的忧虑和担心也可以减轻压力。而且,我们甚至可以得到一些实用的可以解决某些具体问题的建议。

在人生青少年时期和老年时期这两个阶段,我们对友谊的需求显得格外迫切。在青少年时期,年轻人被不稳定和复杂的情感困扰着。在老年时期,人们会因为自己无用和微不足道而感到沮丧。在这两种情形中,友谊可以起到很重要的作用。生活中拥有亲密无间的朋友,人们就会有勇气和积极的态度。年轻人获得了坚持自己个性的精神支持;老年在晚年可以享受乐观有趣的生活。这些积极的态度对成功处理这两个阶段存在的危机至关重要。

一生中,我们依赖于一小群人所给予的关爱、赞赏、尊重、精神支持和帮助。几乎每个人都有自己的朋友“网络”,比如同事、邻居和同学。尽管男性和女性都有这样的朋友,但是不断有证据显示男性很少有亲密的朋友。男性喜好交际,他们经常会有大量的商业伙伴,高尔夫球友等等。但是,友谊不仅仅需要参加共同的活动,它还需要在非常私人的范围内分享自我。通常,男人会信赖朋友,但是他们却对亲密的友谊敬而远之。因为隐藏了自己的情感,男人封堵了使消极的情绪得以释放的健康的出口。

人们选择一些朋友,因为跟他们在一起很有趣,他们总是会让一些事情发生。此外,拥有共同的兴趣也是选择朋友的重要因素。例如,有孩子的家庭倾向于和有孩子的家庭建立友谊。有相似生活方式的人们成为朋友也很普遍。像“单亲家庭”等一些组织的出现就是这种趋势发展的必然结果。这些组织给人们提供了社交和交朋友的机会,同时为更好地适应新生活获得有帮助的建议的机会。还有一些组织关注特殊的兴趣,比如露营和政治等。选择有特殊品性的人做朋友,只要可以平衡彼此的付出和索取,使双方满足。

非常亲密和可靠的朋友间可以坦率诚恳地分享信任。他们感到安全,因为他们不会受到嘲笑和讽刺,他们的隐私得到尊重。但是,背信弃义会迅速而痛苦地终结一段友谊。

随着友谊的逐渐巩固,联系也加强了。亲密的友谊可以丰富人们的生活。有一些可以使友谊茁壮成长的要素,它们是正直、纯真、体贴以及共同的兴趣。

环境和人都在不断变化。一些友谊可以持续到永远,另一些却不能。但是不管怎样,友谊是创造健康有益生活不可或缺的重要组成部分。

Life 人生

Anonymous 佚名

Life will be imaged,but cannot be divided nor doubled.Any invasion of its unity would be chaos.

The soul is not twin-born,but the only begotten,and though revealing itself as child in time,child in appearance,is of a fatal and universal power,admitting no co-life.Every day,every act betrays the ill-concealed deity.We believe in ourselves,as we do not believe in others.We permit all things to ourselves,and that which we call sin in others,is experiment for us.It is an instance of our faith in ourselves,that men never speak of crime as lightly as they think,or,every man thinks a latitude safe for himself,which is nowise to be indulged to another.

The act looks very differently on the inside,and on the outside;in its quality,and its consequences.Murder in the murderer is no such ruinous thought as poets and romancers will have it;it does not unsettle him,or fright him from his ordinary notice of trifles:it is an act quite easy to becontemplated,but in its sequel,it turns out to be a horrible jangle and confounding all relations.Especially the crimes that spring from love,seem right and fair from the actor’s point of view,but,when acted,are found destructive of society.No man at last believes that he can be lost,nor that the crime in him is as black as in the felon.Because the intellect qualifies in our own case the moral judgments.For there is no crime to the intellect.That is antinomian or hypernomian,and judges law as well as fact.

在非洲,瞪羚每天早上醒来时,他知道自己必须跑得比最快的狮子还快,否则就会被吃掉.狮子每天早上醒来时,他知道自己必须追上跑得最慢的瞪羚,否则就会被饿死;不管你是狮子还是瞪羚,当太阳升起时,你最好开始奔跑。

参考翻译(高昆)

你可以描绘人生,但你不能划分或者复制她。破坏了她的完整就会引起混乱。

灵魂并非双生花,而是独苗儿。虽然她的外貌,甚至整个成长过程都像孩子一样,但是她具有无穷的能量,不会接受其他生命与其共存。她无时无刻不显露出那种唯我独尊的神圣。我们相信自己,却总是怀疑别人。我们总是为所欲为,但当别人做了相同的事,我们就觉得那充满罪恶。最好的一个例子就是,我们所想的往往要比所说的邪恶的多,或者说,每个人心中都会为自己放宽容忍限度,但这个限度决不能用来放纵他人。

行为,无论从内在还是外在,性质还是后果来看,都有很大的差别。比如多数罪犯在犯罪的时候,绝对不是像诗人或小说家所描述的那样带着伤天害理的想法,人们也觉察不出他心神不宁或诚惶诚恐的蛛丝马迹。犯罪也许做起来很容易,但是看看其后果,就会发现这实在是很可怕,是一场将牵连你周围一切的悲剧。特别是那些因爱而起的犯罪,也许从犯罪人角度,这合情合理,但实际上,这已经很严重的危害到了社会。当然,没有人会觉得自己最后会迷失自我,也没有人觉得他们所犯的罪就像重罪犯那样恶不可赦。这是因为在人们自己的状况里,思想给予道德判断的权力。思想是无罪的。它摒弃或者超越了社会道德规范,评判法律和事实。

妙译沙龙

By human nature,we begin our“fault-finding”mission the moment we’re capable of free-thinking.

当我们有能力自由思考的时候,就开始了这项“吹毛求疵”

的任务。

What will matter is not what you bought,but what you built;not what you got,but what you gave.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered,by whom and for what.

你该在乎的,不是你买到了什么,而是你创造了什么;不是获得了什么,而是付出了什么。

你该在乎的,不是你离开之后,将在人们心中停留多久,而是谁记得你,为了什么记得你。

I wish you enough sun,to keep your attitude bright.I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun,more.I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting,I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess...

愿你的生活充满让你心情开朗的阳光,

愿你的生活充满让你更加懂得欣赏阳光的风雨。愿你的生活充满让你满足欲望的收获,愿你的生活充满让你珍惜拥有的错过……The next time you are experiencing one of those bad times or unhappy moments that take you close to your breaking point,bend,but don’t break.

下一次,当你又要经历那些让你几近崩溃的低谷或不快乐时,弯下腰,但不要被折断。

It is the same old story of not being grateful without missing.

还是那句老话,莫等失去才珍惜。

Betraying a trust is a very quick and painful way to terminate a friendship.

背信弃义会迅速而痛苦地终结一段友谊。

The intellect qualifies in our own case the moral judgments.For there is no crime to the intellect.That is antinomian or hypernomian,and judges law as well as fact.

在人们自己的状况里,思想给予道德判断的权力。思想是无罪的。它摒弃或者超越了社会道德规范,评判法律和事实。