书城外语人生要耐得住寂寞
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第11章 Abandon And Obtain人生舍与得(4)

“我只是想要一份压力小一些的工作。”“我说我很孤独,觉得不会有人愿意娶我,就在这时我期待的、最适合托付终身的人——鲍勃出现了。但是,爸爸也是那个时候开始不再珍惜你,与街对面的蠢女人搞在一起。”

“你好像是在责备我当初没能留住你的父亲,是不是?”妈妈问道,虚弱地笑了。

“我是说您放弃了自己的理想,把它给了我!您付出了极大的代价!但这还不是全部,对吗?”

“索妮娅,你不要这样,你太激动了,这对你不好。”“然后,”索妮娅不顾老妇人的话,继续说道,“那次是我第一次当主管,我需要更大的勇气来应付所有的工作,突然,我发现自己拥有了所需的所有能量,可您也是那个时候失去了所有力量,甚至连早上起床的力气都没有了!”

“看到你成功就够了。”“为什么?”索妮娅在妈妈的轮椅前跪了下来,紧抓住妈妈虚弱的双手,“您为什么要这样对自己?为什么?我不值得您这么做,妈,我生命中的任何成功都不值得您这样做!”“哦,”妈妈轻抚着她的头发说,“你错了。为了你,为了你的成功,我所做的、所放弃的每一件事都是值得的。”“妈,妈,我请求您,请收回你的付出吧,我不要自己的成功建立在您的牺牲之上!我不想看着您越来越虚弱,越来越无助,只是为了让我更强壮、更富有、更出名!”

“现在你怎么这么不耐心?”母亲问道,“为什么你还没升职?”“我不想说这些!您在听我说吗?我不想让您继续为我牺牲了!”

妈妈低下头来,久久地看着她,然后又点了点头:“啊,对,我知道了,我懂了,亲爱的,你就快升职了,对吗?你就是还需要一点,很小一点力量而已,但是没关系,你很快就会成功,别担心。”

索妮娅诧异的抬起头:“不,妈妈,我跟您说过,你别——不管您要做什么,别再做了!”

妈妈的头此时突然往后一仰,眼神失焦。索妮娅紧张地抓住妈妈的手腕——几乎感觉不到脉搏的手腕,惊恐的求救着。护理员很快向她们跑来。

在护理员到达之前,母亲的眼神瞬间凝聚了一下,最后一下,索妮娅看到了妈妈如往日般智慧的双眸。“生一个女儿,”妈妈喘息着,“也这样对她。”

Father"s Love 父爱

Anonymous 佚名

At an airport I overheard a father and daughter during their last moments together.Her flight was ready for boarding and they were standing near the departure gate.She said,“Daddy,our life together has been more than enough.Your love is all I ever need.I wish you enough,too,Daddy.”

They kissed goodbye and she left.The man walked over towards the window near where I was seated.I could see that he wanted and needed to cry.

I tried not to intrude upon his privacy,but he welcomed me by asking,“Have you ever said goodbye to someone knowing that it would be forever?”

“Yes,I have.”Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all that my Dad had done for me.Recognizing that his days were numbered,I took the time to tell him,face-to-face,how much he meant to me.So I knew what this man was going through.

“Forgive me for asking,but why is this goodbye forever?”I asked.“I am old and she lives much too far away.I have challenges aheadand the reality is,her next trip back will be for my funeral.”he said.

“I heard you say‘,

I wish you enough’.May I ask what that means?”

He began to smile,“That is a wish that has been handed down through the generations.My parents used to say it to everyone.”

The man paused a moment,then looked up,as if trying to remember the details.

“Then we say I wish you enough.We want the other persons to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them.”

He then turned towards me and shared the following,as if he were reciting it from memory:

I wish you enough sun,to keep your attitude bright.I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun,more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirits up.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wantingI wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough hellos to get you through the final Goodbye...The man then began to sob and walked away.

在家庭中,一个父亲的角色永远是正面的、向上的……妈妈的唠叨是涓涓细流的关爱,而父亲的叮咛确是指引未来的启明星。

参考翻译(胡尊艳)

在机场,我无意中听到一对父女在临别时的对话。飞机即将起飞,这对父女站在安检门前,女儿说:“爸爸,和您一起的日子很充实,有您的爱,我很满足。希望您也一样。”

说完这些他们就吻别了。这位先生走到我座位旁边靠窗的位置,我能感觉到他有一种想哭的冲动。

我尽量不去打扰他的私人空间,他却主动跟我搭话,“您是否曾经跟一个永远不可能再见的人说再见?”

“是的。”话一出口唤起了我多年前的回忆,当年我曾对父亲为我所做的一切表达爱意与感激。因为他在世的日子不多了,我要抓住机会亲口告诉他,他对我是多么重要。所以我深切地理解这位先生此时的心情“恕我冒昧,为什么这次再见会是永别呢?”我问。“我年纪大了,而我们之间相隔太遥远,我未来的日子充满挑战,但实际上,下一次再见可能要在我的葬礼上了。”他说。“我刚刚听你们说‘祝您足够’是什么意思呢?”他脸上露出了一丝的微笑,“那是我们世世代代相传的一个美好的祝愿。我的父母对每个人都说过这样的话。”他停顿了片刻,仰起头来,似乎在努力回忆什么细节。“然后我们就说‘祝你足够’。我们希望别人的生活能够拥有足够美好的事情来支撑他们。”然后他转向我,跟我分享了下面一段话,如同记忆的复刻一般:愿你的生活充满让你心情开朗的阳光,愿你的生活充满让你更加懂得欣赏阳光的风雨,愿你的生活充满让你精神奕奕的幸福,愿你的生活充满让生活中最小的快乐也尽放光芒的痛苦,愿你的生活充满让你满足欲望的收获,愿你的生活充满让你珍惜拥有的丧失,愿你的生活充满让你承受最后道别的问候……这位先生此时已经泣不成声,默默地转身离开了。

Beyond Fear 超越恐惧

Anonymous 佚名

When I was told last year that my 2-year-old son had an illness that threatened his life,I tried to strike a bargain with fate—I would do anything,I would trade my old life away,if only he would get better.We learned that our son would need months of treatment,maybe even a year,before we would know whether he would recover.My husband and I settled into a deadening routine;one night at the hospital,the next night at home to be with our daughter,then right back to the hospital.The days and nights were a blur of medical reports.Fear and despair engulfed me.

I watched the other mothers at the hospital.I saw the mother of the child with cystic fibrosis faithfully administer physical therapy,heard the hollow thump-thump-thump as she pounded the child’s chest,her efforts contained dedication,hope and pain.I ached for the mother whose infant twins both had cancer and who managed somehow to write thank-you notes to the nurses after the babies’many hospitalizations.

I worried that I could not live up to these mothers’heroism.They did what good mothers are supposed to do,what mothers of sick children have to do,and what I did,too.But I did not feel selfless,the way those other mothers seemed to feel.I was ashamed to admit it,but mingled with my terror and grief.After the first three weeks,we realized we were only at the start of a marathon.The friends who knew me best started telling me I should go back to work.It would be good for you to get a break,they said.I resisted.Good mothers,I thought,do not abandon their sick children for work.Yet when my son’s doctor told me he thought it would be fine,that he could E-mail his assessments,I tore myself away.

I could not work a normal schedule—far from it.But as the months of my son’s treatment dragged on,he was able to stay out of the hospital for longer periods.My husband and I still took turns at the outpatient clinic or at the hospital.I was lucky that my family and my baby sitter could also relieve me so that my son was never alone.

There were still long stretches when I needed to drop everything to be with him.But to my surprise,I found that going to work when I could ease my sense of helplessness.I could be distracted:there were phone calls and deadlines and a rhythm to be swept into.I could be in control of something.

I felt guilty at first about the solace I took from work.I often wondered what the other mothers thought of me—taking my work clothes to the hospital,showering in the parents’stall after a long night in which we’d heard the cries of all our children.